Sex Books for the Discerning Sex Nerd!

11 May

Look! I did a video! Yeah, I know, I know, a new podcast every week but my face doth hide. Well, finally, I’ve compiled a list of books I think are tops in their given field and done a video to boot. I think I’ve earned a cookie. Muah!

List: 

“Guide to Getting it On” by Paul Joannides, Psy.D.
“Sex is Fun” by Kidder Kaper/ illustrated by Josh Lynch
“Moregasm” by Claire Cavanah & Rachel Venning
“The New Book of Topping/Bottoming” by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy
“SM 101″ by Jay Wiseman
“Mating in Captivity” by Esther Perel
“365 Positions” by Lisa Sweet
“She Comes First” by Ian Kerner, Ph.D.
“Tickle His Pickle” by Dr. Sadie Allison
“The Multi-Orgasmic Man/Woman/Couple” by Chia, Chia, Abrams & Abrams, M.D.

Upcoming Events!

9 Apr

My forte is sex ed, not marketing or blog interfacing, so until I figure out how to set up a side panel of Upcoming Events, here’s what’s comin’ up!

WORKSHOP: April 18th – teaching “Suck it, Lick it, Love it” oral sex on males and females @pleasurechestLA – 8pm free

LIVE SHOW: April 23rd – “Open Relationships: Love Outside the Box” SNS Podcast recording @nerdmeltla in hollywood – 8pm $10

LIVE SHOW: May 18th – Live SNS Podcast Recording (topic tba) @nerdmeltla in hollywood – 7:30pm $10

WORKSHOP: July 23rd – teaching “Beginner Booty Basics! ” – Good Vibes in San Francisco (details tba) $20/$25

And if you know how to wordpress better than me, help a sex nerd out!

I Bowl for Awkward Moments

9 Apr

I cannot contain sexual metaphors in a bowling alley. RESTRAINT I HAZ NOT!  Bowling for Team Nerdist on their new fancy show, “All Star Celebrity Bowling” proved quite the learning experience. They were all pros of the camera. 

RE Minute 5:15: “Geeze, Jonah. I was talking about Bowling. Get your mind out of the gutter.” *hyuck* #bowlingpun #couldn’t help myself

Sometimes a Girl Just Wants Good Head

8 Apr

I’m inspired by a play I saw tonight. Set in 1963, The Magic Bullet Theory was a fun who-shot-JFK ride rich with witty dialogue. One topic that came up several times was blowjobs. One man-character says “women were put on this earth for 2 reasons: to suck our dicks and take our balls.”

Now, contextually, that remark  fit with the character and his point, so I don’t mean to get all up in feminism’s business, but it did stir something in my psyche. Later in the story during a fabulous montage scene, a blowjob is artfully woven into the dance number for a brief few moments.

That blowjob buisness got me a little, well, distracted. First in the hot kind of way. Then I got kind of mad. The passionate voice in my head said,

“Why do I never hear women saying, ‘oh man, all I need right now is a good eating out,’ hmm? Why do I never get to see cunnilingus depicted in such a fun & casual manner? I’m not ALL flowers and cuddling, ya know!”

I’ve just never seen a woman portrayed that way. The character in the play receiving aforementioned head was a lawyer. He was a professional going about his job and having a little fun on the side. Good times all around. What if a woman were playing the part?

I’ve seen so many male characters in movies and stories triumphantly referencing receiving a blowjob as a thing of pride. Yet, on the female side of things, I don’t recall much in the way of a gleeful brag.

It seems to be a dark spot in pop culture. I mean, the concept of a man at his desk getting serviced by his intern/secretary/whoever is all too familar. Yet when do we see a woman expressing her enjoyment of the same kind of carnal attention? Rarely, in my mind. Of course, I haven’t taken in Game of Thrones or True Blood yet, so fingers crossed perspectives are expanding.

It’s safe to assume that enjoying oral sex is not a gendered activity. I’d like to see that reflected back at me in the stories we tell ourselves. Everyone is allowed to desire & enjoy some good old fashioned head, without shame or complication. And that’s what I have to say about that. xo

Help a Sex Nerd Out by Being One

29 Mar

My First Banner. I opted for adorable toys aesthetic.

Guess what? The Sex Nerd Sandra Podcast has a new sponsor! The neat thing about sponsorship with a sex toy company is that as the episodes roll out, I can now actually make it easy to learn about geeky sex toy things AND have a place to send you with a great deal on products.

But for the moment, Adam & Eve and I are just dating (sounds… kinky). It would help the show out for you to show them you love us, AND get a great starter deal on goodies. You can click the link, or just go to AdamandEve.com and type in PROMO CODE: SEX NERD.

Here’s the deal. No matter who sponsors use, no matter what, I am only going to encourage listeners to get what’s right for them. That means healthy materials, ingredients and neato attributes that I think are super cool. K? 

So, if you’re in the market for a new naughty thing-a-ma-jig, go to Adam and Eve. Why NOW? 

Because, dude… this deal is redonk. I was even shopping on there. 

  1. 50% Off almost anything (I was told everything and then I said “get a friggin We-Vibe 3! and then I found out those were only 25% off. But still, mostly!)
  2. FREE SHIPPING – I love free shipping so much. 
  3. 3 FREE DVDs! 
  4. A SECRET GIFT! (I’m guessing cockring or pocket rocket. I could be wrong, but how I love guessing games!)
Again, that’s Promo Code: SEX NERD (infomercial much?)

Okay. I’m gonna stop sounding like a salesperson now. Toys are tools. Seriously, it’s not about what you have. It’s how you use it. Hugs!

~Sandra

P.S. WordPress is being weird with the hyperlinks. For now, here’s the raw link in case you like that sort of thing: www.adameve.com/landing.aspx?sc=SEXNERD&oc=GINSU2

Creating Your Own Erogenous Zones

29 Mar

At the KCLA studio with The Dating Advice Girl!

My voice was on the radio this week on “The Dating Advice Girl Show” with Erin Tillman for the sex episode. I  had a great time sharing my top tips for hookups and new relationships. At one point, Erin posed an interesting question:

“How many erogenous zones are there?”

Well,  I knew the answer right away:

“There are no erogenous zones. The ENTIRE BODY is an erogenous zone! Every inch, every spot on the body has potential. And everyone is wired differently.”

I went on to explain that the concept of having erogenous zones is a framework or lens through which to view the body. It is a helpful tool, but NOT a definition of what we are. You can draw out as many zones as it takes to help you understand how to pleasure and enjoy the body.

When she asked the question, my mind flashed to the multitude of magazine covers hollering at the checkout line, “FIND OUT HIS NEW EROGENOUS ZONE!” and similar fresh takes on the human body. We’ve been boinking for thousands of years, my friends. There is nothing new. Only new perspectives.

For instance, here’s a list I whipped up of common nerve ending hot spots (HINT: This is NOT all inclusive!):

  • Scalp
  • Ears
  • Lips
  • Back of the neck
  • Inner Elbow
  • Between the fingers
  • Nipples
  • Base of the spine
  • The ENTIRE pelvic region from belly button to thigh, back AND front
  • Back of the knees
  • Toes

In making this list, I left out about a hundred OTHER spots that might offer up tingly, sigh-filled delights. What about right above your clavicle? The front of your ankle? The area right behind your ear? 

So, the problem with zoning the body is leaving out so many precise points rich with sensation. Now, I appreciate that these magazine articles and such highlight spots to play with. It’s always fun to be reminded about oft forgotten realms where one may venture next. But what about waking up any naked patch of skin that may make it’s way near your mouth? 

Here are some ways to play with the body, experimenting with speed, pressure and rhythm:
  • Grazing with fingertips
  • Licking (I dare you to come up with a dozen different licks)
  • Nibbling
  • Open-mouthed incisor pressure and grazing (gentle vampire!)
  • Scratching
  • Sucking (no hickies!)
  • Closed Mouthed Pecking
  • Open Mouthed Kissing
  • Kneading
  • Tapping & Slapping
  • and a mixture of these!

This, too, is not a comprehensive list, yet the variety you could discover just in your own creativity with the above verbs could keep you very busy for several sexy dates. What the magazines leave out in their headings is that the greatest bedroom tool we have is our creativity.

And here we arrive at the point. Creativity, the element oft left out of the sexual pleasure discourse. Empower yourself to experiment. Be the cartographer of your own erogenous zones and that of your lover. Explore, venture, discover.

Some may call this stuff foreplay. I call it a good time for always.

Pics from “Sex MacGyver”

15 Feb

Okay. I’m gonna see if wordpress will be nice and my blog will behave. Here I’ve got 6 pics from this past week’s “Sex MacGyver” episode with Chris Gore of G4 & beyond! 

Fun with FetishVil! Dave's doll looks just like him!

I haz shoehorn!

Dave plays with Chris' light-up crop prototype

Astronaut Bra coming soon!

FetishVil props. Do you know what the crop is made out of?

No I will not take off this cozy Spirit Hood.

Fun!

Feb 6th! Big Comedy! Big Raffle!

1 Feb

This Monday we will ROCK Pasadena!

If you’re in LA, I’ve got a one time special fundraising event I’m turning naughty. This Monday, join me for Tits & Giggles with comedians Bobby Lee (MadTV) , Chris Porter (Last Comic Standing Finalist Season 4) & Iliza Shlesinger (Last Comic Standing Winner Season 6)  at the Ice House Comedy Club in Pasadena.

I’m getting up on stage and sex nerding the audience, plus raffling off sweet toys from The Pleasure Chest! We’re raising money for my friend Elaine’s breast. Plus, it’s an excuse for fun. So, all together, everyone wins.

Buy Tickets in Advance HERE!

This Ain’t No Sex in the City

22 Jan

I'm having a Bradshaw moment.

I don’t mean to get all Sarah Jessica Parker here, but as mentioned on my podcast I’m freshly exploring the single world. Never would I have imagined how DIFFERENT the single girl’s sex life can be from that of a close companionship. It’s a wholly separate skill set!

The juxtaposition is startling. Sex in a relationship was a safe arena for some friendly grappling. Now every encounter is a labyrinth of social forays, dodging insecurities and jousting witty dialogue. Then, past the sexts, the banter, the drinks and the flirt, there is still much to be navigated in the bedroom. Literally, sometimes. Try reaching for your safe sex protocol while keeping the fire burning while not burning oneself on flanking candlight all while wrestling that incessant mental monologue. That’s a lot, even for a pro.

With a career focused on sexual technique and behavior for some time now, this new “field research” is giving my internal sex map a cartographic extension.  In the vast landscape of the human condition, this is some righteous uneven ground.

Like a warrior in the fray of a messy battle, I find myself skillfully stumbling into both mistakes and triumph. At the end of every skirmish, I find a particular lesson relearned. It’s the rich jem of  knowing what I want AND what I don’t want and being able to give it voice. If one is like myself with a propensity for awkward moments, this skill triples in value.

Ideally, I rise from every hayride better for the experience. That’s as tall an order as this experience is humbling. And I am humbled. From where I stand, nothing is quite as sweet as doing exactly what is in accordance with one’s desire while also in accordance with one’s partner’s desire. Shakespeare & Socrates help sum it up best: in sex, like in life, know thyself & to thine own self be true, even when a bit bewildered.

Safe & Sexy Casual Sex Vid

13 Jan

Hi Friends! This week on the Sex Nerd Sandra podcast Dave & I had a 3-way talk & debate with comedian Moshe Kasher on promiscuity and the like. One element that wasn’t addressed was safe sex (So many elements, so little time). So here’s a video I made recently to show you how nerdy safe sex can be. Behold, my safe sex kit.

Do I think I’m gonna need all that? No. Of course not. But wouldn’t it be great if I did? ;) Have a good time and play safe. xoxo!

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