Where’s the lube, Penguin?

18 May

3 very special summaries of 3 very special toys:

The Persnickety Penguin

Long and lean, the Persnickety Penguin is a vibrating thong with a 90% chance of giving its wearer a hell of a good time… and a yeast infection. This fussy little fella presents a welcoming tail of anal beads ripe for your rear end. Make sure not to move much, ladies, or you’ll be wiping the wrong way. Yikes.

*

The Stranger

When it comes to design, no one beats the Germans. Made of medical-grade silicone, The Stranger looks like a decapitated lavender demon-tentacle ready to ride you right. I’ll take two, please.

*

The Muffin Mucker

Nothing says toxic strawberry stench like this dual-action gem. Known for its way with the ladies, The Muffin Mucker will leave your baked goods crumbling from ecstasy. No, really. Have you had Your muffin mucked today?

***this blog was inspired by yesterday’s run in with the last Persnickety Penguin, as it is such a terrible toy, we will no longer be selling it. I bid this endangered species farewell.

One Response to “Where’s the lube, Penguin?”

  1. Sex Lubes November 5, 2012 at 5:54 am #

    When i get free to infection by using any latex or lubes?

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