Tough to Please Pussy Pleasers (or so I thought)

2 Mar

Teaching in an abyss of awkward silence (Courtesy: Spaceman23.com)

I just got a fan letter from someone who attended last night’s “Pleasure Her Perfect: Going Down” workshop. This letter is the cherry on top of a giant sundae of Disbelief.

You see, from the moment we walked out to co-teach the fifty or so people awaiting vulvular instruction at The Pleasure Chest in L.A., I don’t think a single person in that audience breathed. It was deathly silent for almost two hours.

Now there was laughter, but even then I didn’t sense release from the audience. Like, every time they laughed, they would push out a little carbon dioxide from their lungs, and then stop again.

I got worried. For their safety. For mine. For our inability to get the aggregate to chill the fuck out.

So after talkin’ snatch for two hours with the good people of Los Angeles, my co-teacher and I wrapped the ego-drain with a warm thank you to tepid applause.

My friend came up to me right after. I said, “wow, tough crowd,” and with complete un-irony he said, “well, it’s a serious subject.”

Touché

And then something veeeeery strange happened. People came up to me afterward. MANY people. Thanking us. Saying how funny that shit was. Asking follow up questions.

Where were you people during the class!!!??? Jeebus. I almost quit my job right there and joined the army!

 

I guess I had gotten so lost in creating the prettiest little lesson plan and helping train our newest teacher that I had forgotten what was most important. This act, going down on a woman, can be SUPER intimidating and I mistook that tension for misery. Oops.

So that woman two rows back making weird squishy faces every time I talked? I realize now she wasn’t judging my inability to learn her some knowledge. No! She was working to understand. Ohhhhhh. Right.

One guy even asked for my autograph. I was half scared he was tricking me into signing a legal document. Apparently not.

THEN I get a friggin’ facebook message saying “YOU are friggin’ hilarious! I couldn’t stop laughing.” Um, where were you… not holding your breath?

Anyway, it turns out it was a pretty good class. You just wouldn’t have known it standing there talking. Sigh. Guess it’s time to breath again.

7 Responses to “Tough to Please Pussy Pleasers (or so I thought)”

  1. Cymoen March 2, 2011 at 11:58 pm #

    So funny, I was there last night and had a very similar conversation with my boyfriend. I told him that the awkward silence was contagious and i thought is was supposed to be fun and not like lecture hall ( don’t think I convinced him,he can be so stuffy). Anyways I really enjoyed the class and thought that you were quite funny! Thank you and see you at a future event!

  2. leendadll March 4, 2011 at 12:20 pm #

    wish i was there. one of my hidden talents is breaking the ice. but it also sounds like it was a great class. since i’ve never been the receiving end of good oral, i would have loved to hear what you had to say!

    • Sandra Daugherty March 9, 2011 at 12:13 pm #

      I love that your hidden talent is breaking the ice. I wonder what your secrets are… Must learn…

  3. Matt March 8, 2011 at 9:36 am #

    I once taught a Sex Toys 101 workshop years ago to an almost completely silent full house. It was terrifying. No questions, no comments, no nothing. When my co-teacher and I were done, we said thank you and then everyone start applauding and hollering like crazy. Afterwards, everyone was very complementary and happy. Ya never know! Some crowds are just quiet. Speaking out about sex in front of strangers is second nature to us, but to most, it’s MORTIFYING!

    • Sandra Daugherty March 9, 2011 at 12:17 pm #

      That sounds like quite a class! We get so used to the audience giving feedback with positive facial expressions, sounds and nodding. This was twilight-zone-different.

    • Elli Sanders August 1, 2013 at 1:25 pm #

      Sorry if this is a repeat ()

      I was just at a sex toy workshop in Taisho Japan. It was very quiet but everyone seemed to enjoy it a lot there too!

      I of course needed a translator (my friend) – but it was very interesting!

      Also interesting to run into your comment after going to one!

  4. Sandra Daugherty March 9, 2011 at 12:18 pm #

    Good news! Someone came up to me last night to thank me for this class I speak of. They hadn’t seen this blog or anything, but had noted the crazy silent audience and how weird it was. It just keeps on coming!

Nerd out here & at the Sex Nerd Sandra facebook page!

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