Midnight Sex Toy Rant

12 Apr

You know what I miss? I miss new sex toys that made me feel good, period. That were good quality and great to handle and fun and la la la god-I’m-coming-so-hard-fuck-me-harder-awesome. I miss that.

There’s a whole lot of money going into toy manufacturing right now that is all about “design.” And you know what that gets us? A whole lot of mediocre sex. Because “design” is code word for looks great, has a fancy box and sucks.

All the marketing mumbo jumbo we get fed and it all comes down to how the toy does in the bedroom.  Some companies are A-okay. I wish to focus future posts on them. But there’s a lot of crap coming out with no thought as to the reality of awesome, fun feel-good sex. Key word: Reality.

And i’m tired of it. I’m just really fucking tired of new toys coming out that miss their mark completely. I’m tired of the $100 toy that worked really well for 2 women I never got to meet.

Such a waste. I wish I had studied electronics or been more of a mechanical engineer type. I’d smash up a few of my favorite gizmos and create a franken-vibe that could rock us all to world peace.

I’m just tired of bullshit-consumerism slipping into our bedrooms. I like toys that make fucking more awesome. A sex toy is like a chain saw. Sure, you can still cut wood with an axe, but the chain saw makes it easier and more fun. (And who cares if the chainsaw is loud? You’re a fucking rock star when you use it!)

All I’m saying is, let’s stop worrying about our wallets so much and get back to the fun. And on that note, I think I’ll take my own advice. If you’ll excuse me…

3 Responses to “Midnight Sex Toy Rant”

  1. leendadll April 12, 2011 at 8:09 pm #

    I have often thought it would be great to have an Elec Eng or Mech Eng boyfriend, just so he could make new toys for us!

  2. Catherine Toyooka June 29, 2011 at 11:51 am #

    This is so true…I love good design, but not at the cost of a rocking vibrator.
    My hubby (PhD Electrical Engineer) always shakes his head and says “bad design, bad design” when electronics don’t work….maybe I should enlist his help with sex toys..couldn’t be worse than some of the crap out there today, right?

    • Sandra Daugherty July 1, 2011 at 10:10 pm #

      You SO need to get on that! We should talk about that for the podcast recording on Friday!

Nerd out here & at the Sex Nerd Sandra facebook page!

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