I’m about to go on a date tonight. We only briefly met and I know nothing about him. This is not my usual. All I know is he is a nice person with one small online footprint (read: no online stalking available).
Just now in the kitchen I was experiencing the feelings of “Oh my god, what if it’s horrible? What if we hit it off? What if it gets weird!?” I have this feeling in my gut that a date is a very important thing. It is a gateway to so much. You never know what’s going to happen. And that, perhaps, is my problem.
People date all the time. Some people do the dating thing for years. In the end, most dates never amount to a second or third date. And that, I suppose, is what dating is. Testing the water, tasting the buffet, and checkin’ out those fancy fish in that there sea. So I should calm the F down.
Still, I am nervous. This is a bona fide, classic, official-style dinner-and-show type evening. As my friend put it, “Wow, that’s one high pressure date.” Yeah. It feels like it. Yet, what the heck? I mean, why can’t two people get together for an evening out and enjoy each other’s company? I like fun. I LOVE fun. I mean, what could go wrong? Huh? What? (No really, tell me.)
So then, still in said kitchen, I realize I am putting way more pressure on this evening than there needs to be. Truth be told, when the good gent asked, I made it clear that I was a yes to a date only if there would be no expectation for a second. We must know ourselves well enough to know what we can handle and I am not one for romantic entanglement right now. The reasons are multiplicitous, if you can allow me to make up such a word, and perhaps some day I’ll share them.
For now, the ridiculously dorky & magical story of how this date came to be is topic for it’s own podcast episode. It’s time to talk about dating again, friends. This time because I’m doing it and it’s weird as fuck. I mean F. You know what I’m saying. Until then, wish me luck.
UPDATE 3 hours later: Okay, now that I’ve given this more thought, I’ve better pinpointed the area of stress for me. The question is, “How good am I at judging someone from a first impression?” Since I usually go on dates with someone familiar, or on a completely blind date, this middle ground is highly uncomfortable. So tonight is the battle ground where my street smarts and gullibility fight to the death. K.O.!