“Don’t Touch Like You Text”

5 May

I’ve been thinking about fingertips a lot lately. Specifically how we use them in our day and how that translates to our night. I tweeted yesterday, “Don’t touch like  you text” and I received several responses musing about what that might mean. 

It all started a few years ago as a baby sex educator when I was hired by a woman who wanted to give a great blow job. I had been teaching public classes for a while, so why not? From what she told me, her boyfriend’s lack of enthusiasm was getting to her and I was happy to figure things out. 

Dildos in place on the table, I drilled her about her man’s preferences. Her mouth technique was in order. She seemed to be doing plenty of things right. What could it be?

Next, I Nancy Drew’d her Kung Fu grip, watching as she stroked the lubricated shaft, noticing a stuttering drag. 

“Grip my forearm.”

“What?” she asked, startled.

“Grip my forearm. I want to feel how you are squeezing the shaft.”

Everything crystallized. The woman had been squeezing his erect member like she was popping bubble wrap with the pads of her fingers. 

Once I worked with her to compress from her palm instead, everything fell into place. Mouth to hand, hand to other hand, her movements flowing together I was proud of her and my mind on fire. I thought this was only a female-pleasuring offense!

After investigating this observation over the years, I’ve found that folks tend to grip from the fingertip down. Everyday texting, typing and button-pushing activities do not prepare us for the nuanced needs of our nerve endings.

Recently, I decided it was time to find easy ways to turn these habits around, so I’ve been developing new exercises for better lovership. Just imagine all the ways we can use our hands for pleasure beyond our fingertips! It’s almost too much for my brain to take.

So that’s where I’m at and what’s on my mind. 

 

 

3 Responses to ““Don’t Touch Like You Text””

  1. Barbara Jones May 5, 2014 at 2:26 pm #

    soooo – you’re wonderful :) and it’s so easy to hear your voice when reading your words… Hope to get more of this

    • J. Constance September 10, 2014 at 11:45 pm #

      A lot of people do touch like they text — without a lot of consideration (hence the lack of punctuation rampant in text messages). We should be more mindful about both!

  2. eve December 1, 2014 at 8:51 pm #

    Knuckle pits!

Nerd out here & at the Sex Nerd Sandra facebook page!

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