For those of you who know my voice but not my face, it’s nice to meet you finally. (Photo: http://portershots.com/)
So… I host this podcast called “Sex Nerd Sandra.” I extract sex tips, techniques & titillating tidbits from unique human beings & experts. I marvel at the human condition and cuddle up to the science that helps explain it. And P.S., I laugh, just absolutely laugh at our attempts at courtship. I love humans. I just don’t quite understand them. Me. Us.
Released with Nerdist Industries, my little podcast has been downloaded almost 4 million times in 18 months and by the looks of the emails, tweets and facebook messages I get, I’d say the naughty little snowflakes listening all over the world are pretty amazing people.
And just between you and me, I’m no expert. I don’t claim to be. I’ve been teaching pleasure and communication for 4 years now and it feels like I just got started. I’m making all of the mistakes. ALL OF THEM. So don’t go thinking you’re the only one, mkay?
Below are the places you click if you’d like to join me every hump day for a hearty dose of the neurotic & erotic. See you there!
Go Team Fun!
SANDRA! which podcast was it that you had talked about the website that we can go to and find a free audiobook. I,for the life of me, cannot remember and ever since i’ve heard you talk about the book she comes first I HAVE WANTED IT SO BAD!!! but i dont have money to buy it. could you please help me out?!
your eternally sex nerd fan
kate
Oh, I think that was a temporary link. It’s not there anymore, but it was Audible.com! Fun stuff!
Wate did u just say you wanted sex
You always cheer me up.
No RSS link? Oh well. You clearly don’t need me as a listener.
That was a mean way to say that. I’m a sex nerd, not an new media nerd. I appreciate when my knowledgeable friends and listeners let me know ways I can do things better. Thank you for telling me in your own special way.
Dude there is a feed on the LibSyn page.
It’s pretty easy to find the RSS address on any WordPress account by doing a quick google search. You can find the RSS feed at http://sexnerdsandra.com/feed/
Get out from under that bridge!
Get it here http://sexnerdsandra.libsyn.com/rss via Nerdist
Just discovered your podcast a few weeks ago. Listening to them all chronologically. So amazing. Fun, entertaining, witty, charming and informative. I recently had opportunity to put in practice some tips from “G-Spotting” to very positive results.
)
Thanks for doing this. The first podcast I’ve ever found worth listening to.
The Whiskey Disk podcast episode helped me properly put on a cock ring. I learned it from the guest’s website! Excellent stuff! Thanks!! Also, where can I learn about the correct lubes to use?
Would it be possible to number your podcasts so that they stay in order on my iPhone? Whenever I dl a new one, I have to look all over to find it. Plus it’s nice to re-listen to them in order
I’ll talk to the network producer about it. We might end up doing this at some point. Sorry about that!
Katt, I download them on my iPod and it seems to keep them in order. I wonder if there is a setting for that? Maybe by release date? I will go in search of the answer now. I am intrigued.
I have a story related to your discussion about wetness and arrousal not being related. I had what can best be described as a relationship of convenience over a roughly 10 year period with a musician friend that focused primarily on spanking. Typically, she would be VERY wet after (well before, during and after) a spanking and it was very easy to make her cum following a trip over my knee. On one occassion, she got a punishment spanking (unlike our usual playful get togethers). She was not looking forward to getting scolded and spanked for real and while she was every bit as wet as usual she was not in a sexy frame of mind. After a while of not making her climax she basically said, sorry…I can’t right now. The story has a happy ending (no pun intended) but I just wanted to share my agreement with what was said on your podcast, which by the way I really enjoy.
Thanks,
Jim
Thank you for sharing! The body works in interesting ways.
Dear Sandra,
I love the podcast, but this is the first time that I feel I have to write in because I do not agree with what I heard. I listened to that “Man Box” episode and I have my doubts that certain ideas discussed here will work. Men are complicated, I agree. I have been in some sort of sexual Sahara for too long and I do not think that it is just because of a lack of confidence. You can be the most interesting person in the room, but if no one knows it, what difference does it make? I also think that confidence is something that can never be learned and that it explains why so many men, who know better and are sensitive about these things, turn to porn rather than face the difficulty of trying to hook up with someone in a bar or club. I am curious about the book that the doctor mentioned and I am following her on Twitter, but most of this episode was just a pipe dream to me.
Sorry, it had to be said.
Great podcast, but Dave is just trying toooo hard.
Sandra, I just finished listening to your podcast with Dr.Ryan from “Sex at Dawn” that was referred to me by a friend and I really enjoyed it… His conversation and yours was very crisp and natural. insightful, thank you!!
Hi Sandra, I came into your podcast at the Marc Maron ep. You are wise, funny, and an awesome educator. I was taken aback that on such a progressive and cool show, you didn’t call Dave out on his comments about differently-abled and other marginalized people.
I turned the podcast off at 1:03, after Dave joked “Let’s go out and beat up some q***rs”. I don’t care if it was a joke – you are cooler than that, and you should have called him out on such a horrible joke. Why is Dave on the show? Is he a sex educator or have other expertise he’s offering?
Thank you for listening, Daniella. I can’t seem to find the spot on the Dirty Talk ep where Dave says this, at minute 1:03, nor at hour 1:03:00. Part of Dave’s humor is irony, and Dave has also spoken many a time on equality and respect for all. That is part of the reason why he is on the show. Until I can actually hear the context of the joke, I cannot fully speak to the nature of this clip. Please let me know which episode you speak of.
I appreciate the reply and taking the time to address it.
It’s in Talking Dirty With Marc Maron at 1:03:25.
You and Marc were so clearly uncomfortable with the comment, and I do wish you had called him out on it.
I thought the latest episode on virginity touched on a lot of good points. I hope you will get deeper into the topic in the future because I share a lot of the concerns/thoughts that were mentioned on the show. I hope I can get some advice on these.
Cool! Let me know which topics, concerns and thoughts you want further explored. That would be UBER helpful
It was mostly the part about the self esteem and confidence. The type of thinking that it hasn’t happened now, so why try. I actually sent you an email about this, but didn’t quite know how to ask if you had read it. I didn’t want to seem like the creepy stalker guy that sent too many messages. See, I know that much;)
“Virgin: The Sexual Debutante” hit a nerve with me. This may have been the hardest episode for me to listen to and I have to say that you and Dave have very strong nerves to share this info on the air. I am going to keep listening and learning…!
Sandra! I live in Louisville Ky and I stumbled across your podcast today and I’m so happy i did. I couldn’t top laughing. I introduced 2 of my friends to the podcast already so keep it up and know you have at least 3 new fans!
Thanks for being bold enough to share the show with friends. Way to take the lead!
Can you have a show on guys who have problems getting pleasure from sex because women cannot handle their penis size? Also perhaps have women that are size queens and found ways to please men with a bit extra down there. Many guys wish for this, but its not all its cracked up to be.
At some point, I hope to host a show dedicated to size. Stay tuned!
Sandra,
Loved the recent “Box Blues” podcast. I’ve been experiencing pain for two years and after a year of seeing my gyno regularly and each time receiving nothing but a cranky doctor telling me she has no clue what the issue was and to try I ignore it, I now know where to look for help. Thanks for answering questions that can’t be answers my moms, friends, or doctors!
this is so great. I’m honored to help.
I love your podcast! The poly one was ah-making! My wife met you recently and I was super jealous, er, I mean compersive.
*ah-mazing
Nice use of the new vocabulary word. Come out to the next live show. Thanks for listening!
When is the next live show?
This could be a bit technical, but did you recently changed de audio format on the nerdist stream, now I can’t stream your podcast to my Android Phone (android 4). It make’s my commute a lot more enjoyable. Could you change it back, or are there other options to stream your podcast.
Love the show,
One of your fans from The Netherlands
I listen to your podcast and I love them. I listen in my car when I’m driving around.
In the beginning of podcast#45 (Dating and…Chivalry?), you were talking about the “paper-cutter movement” because you could not remember the scientific word to use. I think the word you were looking for was “fulcrum”. It sounds cool when associated with your podcast theme because it sounds close to another word.
Here is a link I found for you to learn more about it and if this was the word you were looking for: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lever.
Enjoy.
Hey Sandra!
I have just began to listen to your podcast over the past couple of months. I just wanted to compliment you on your show and all that it has educated me on. I am most impressed by all of the sex world that I didn’t know about. I also like to learn about the struggles and triumphs of others, not only sexually but socially as well. I have heard a lot about sexual labels such as bi, gay, lesbian, homosexual, heterosexual, polyamory, etc (the list goes on but you get the point). I was wondering if you could talk a little about confidence in relation to those sexually traumatized or gone through a sexually traumatizing event. I would love to hear both how to regain sexual confidence and how to communicate past trauma to a partner in a constructive and positive way. How people are affected, and sex positive ways to move forward after such events. If you have already done an episode on this please direct me to it, as I would love to hear it (this issue hits close to home). In the mean-time keep doing your thing and thank you so much for educating the peoples!
Hey Sandra, I don’t recall if you’ve ever addressed this, but I’m super-curious about what’s going on physically for those of us (self-included) who find that a full bladder can intensify orgasms and/or produce spontaneous orgasms without physical stimulation. Despite teaching human sexuality for several years, I’ve NEVER seen a discussion or explanation of this phenomenon (I imagine it’s something about the bladder pressing on the G-zone?).
Just listened to your latest podcast on archetypes! Wonderful. Tell Dave that the president Bartlett archetype is totally hot. My political junkie nerd girl got turned on by the thought. Great show!
Loved the archetypes episode.
I would recommend two books to you on male archetypes. The first is the classic of the secular men’s movement, Iron John by Robert Bly. The second is the Christian follow on, Adam’s Return by Richard Rohr. I think the subject is incredibly interesting and deeply woven into other areas.
Hey Sandra! I’m listening to Sex Q&A: Vag, Dating & Trolls, and I just wanted to let you and Dave know that I think you’re both great and that you do a wonderful job of mixing education and comedy while at the same time both seeming really approachable and real. Love the podcast, and I’m always hyping it to everyone I know. Keep doing what you do, and don’t let the haters get you down (that goes for you too Dave!)
I am listening to your episode covering your trip to Tokyo and it is really bringing back a lot of memories for me. I was a teacher in Japan for three years and I pretty much did most of the things that you experienced or wanted to experience there. I wonder, though, about bringing love hotels here. I live in Montreal and I think that it would a great idea for this particular city. In other parts of this hemisphere, however, I am not sure it would work. You would have to keep the same sort of atmosphere to the buildings and a level of privacy that may not exist here.
Anyway, great episode and a very interesting idea. Segoi!
“A Numbers Game”
Yeah, some guys physically don’t orgasm. Like me. Though I do enjoy sex (obviously or I wouldn’t listen to your podcast), orgasm is still in the “I’ve heard good things” category for me. The commentary on being “broken” to not have an orgasm as a guy makes me laugh just a little at his reaction to “intact”.
There are multiple medical terms: ejaculatory anhedonia
Hey Sanda & Dave
Just a shout out all the way from Malaysia
love your show! Thank you for sharing your knowledge, life, passion and laughthers 
. You’re such gem!
You’re podcast helps me draw lol. I love all the interesting ideas for things I get while learning about sex and health. I just made some kissing doodles because of the Kiss and makeout episode. Awesome show I love it. <3
I loved the last episode on P***s Power. I would have liked to hear his opinion on prostate massage using devices like the Lelo Billy. Maybe you can cover it in the future.
I quit listening to Marc Maron’s podcast for this reason. It’s happened on your show twice now, and if anyone ever eats into a microphone again I’m done listening. I can’t tell you how gross it is to me.
Hi! I’ve enjoyed your podcast for quite some time. Not only do I consider you a wealth of knowledge (and I really hope you go for the Ph.D.), but I think you and Dave have two of the best voices in podcasting. For that matter, Dave is a great co-host, because he is willing to go for a joke, but only where it won’t screw up the informative threads of any given discussion. You both also have a great rapport, despite (or because of) the fact that you approach the show from different backgrounds and viewpoints.
(I also think you’re gorgeous, but that doesn’t really have much to do with the quality of your podcast.)
So…thanks for educating and entertaining, but always keeping your show way above the level of standard-issue “edutainment.” Both of you.
Well…since this show is now apparently the ‘Sex Nerds eating in my ear’ show, I’ve got to unsubscribe.
I love Dave and You. And the podcast. That is all.
Sandra, I heard yr show for the first time today.. I must say I enjoyed yr show and yr nerdy side the podcast was the one where you had Laura and her open relationship bf keep up the good work ill keep listening thanks.oh ya was she hot?
Love the show, but I have a question I have become emotional detached from emotions so my sexual urges have become almost dead. I wanted to know of it’s natural that when I masturbate takes several hours for me to cum.
Thanks! I’m happy that I found your blog and podcast. I don’t normally listen to podcasts… but this one has caught my interest
. Sandra, you’re so respected by all of your listeners, and I think you’re doing a great thing by helping all of these people. I will definitely be using your advice in my personal life… SO insightful! Thank you!!!
Ello I just started listing to your podcast and it was a mixture of laughing and then serious thinking its awsome. I was wondering if you had any podcasts on starting over or from new and helpful pointers on where to go meet the right people. I was dating this girl and looking back she was not right really did not have a healthy mind, well it ended up real bad when she cheated on me with my best friend. Love finding out the 2 closest people you have in your life want to distroy you. With that I lost all the people I used to hang out with, I’m 19 and do not enjoy sitting around doing nothing, I was wondering if you know where to go or advice on going out by yourself to meet more people without seeming like a huge creep and not getting what’s left of ones self confidence crushed more. Awsome pod cast super funny.
Hello, I’m a 17 year old male from Sweden. Yes from Sweden i know. A couple of months ago I found your podcast and you lit up my day, you are awesome and I listen to you every day. You have helped me understand my girlfriend and friends problems and needs.
Thank you
Ps. Sorry for my misspellings and language mistakes.
Hi Sandra! Love your podcast, you and Dave are great to listen too.
I’m a 31 year old healthy male, and I’ve recently been suffering from sexual performance anxiety, or stage fright. It really caught me by surprise, and cost me a new relationship that was otherwise going well.
I started dating someone else just recently and it happened again. I was hoping you could offer advice on how to overcome it or point me to a helpful resource.
Thanks
Where can i send u an email..stories..tips etc..-:)
Hi Sex nerd Sandra and everyone!
I just listened to the podcast which ended with a story on persistent genital arousal.
I heard a news story about that topic one year ago. The sufferer, a female who had tried almost everything, took a drug to quit smoking- Chantix, I believe- and found that the drug also cured her PGA. Hope this helps some of you out there,
Michael
Hey Sandra,
I’ve never had an STD and I just ended a very long term relationship. I am dating now, but haven’t had sex since. What’s the right etiquette to find out if a potential partner has been tested?
I can’t remember what episode is was that you talked with someone about vertical dancing. I seem to remember you guys listing some great websites to check out for more information. Anyway if you happen to remember and could let me know that would make my day!! Thanks!!
Hey Sandra (hey dave!). I hope the hour of my remark doesn’t invalidate it, but that my sleep-schedule is off and I’m watching They Live possibly should. While listening to your most recent posdcast, I found a strong desire to fix a motherly review sandwich; you don’t have to eat all of it, but that it’s been made is enough:
-I listen because I like you guys and the cozy nature in which you discuss an overwhelming and unstable gas of life. I definitely know where Dave comes from, and I can’t help but feel that if I were a low-key vixen my life would be Sandra’s. Alas I’m middled…aye, there’s the rub.
-And here’s the beef: You two are too polite to your guests. I get that the people you have on your show are friends, peers, or idols, but as burgeoning sex educators your allegiance lies with the assumedly under-educated masses whom rely upon your sexpertise. My specific deli beef was sliced in the most recent episode when you guys failed to call-out Reid Mihalko on the awkward flirtation techniques and ultimately pyramidal promotion he was preaching. S, if I could I woulda whisked you away with a phonecall and familial excuse: “Aunt Edna’s Angina.”
-Regardless of meat, you guys are the warm and hearty buns that make my subconscious slaver. Thanks for the comfort.
*Pickle Script* Sandra, this is my first time placing a face to the voice…but I rarely forget eyes…are you by any chance a friend of Missy??
Hi Sandra, we are interested in sponsoring your podcast. We sell hundreds of glass dildos. I don’t want to seem like we are spamming here, so I will leave our twitter which is @glasstoysorg.
We are already following you, follow and direct message us if you’re interested! Thanks!
i love your podcast. i find it very informative and i try like everything i can. i find you extremely funny. i would like to ask you a question. how do you tell if your bi- sexual? i have been haveing trouble you see cause of past abuse and it is difficult for me to trust women at all really. oh and snatch attack!!!!! message me back please.
Sandra,
In two of the last three podcasts, I’ve been sensing a bit of misunderstanding of “Middle America.” Please keep in mind that a lot of your listeners are in between coasts. Being in Minneapolis (home of Smitten Kitten) and proud of it, I’m a bit offput by your assumption that we’re not interested in sex. I’ll continue to listen but please keep in mind that there are very enlightened, sex positive people in between the oceans, too.
Thanks!
Hi Sandra! I was listening to the podcast episode about somatic sexology…where can I learn more and maybe find someone doing that kind of work in my area? Like you, I’m highly curious about sex and my body and all the goodness I can get from my parts.
Oh, and by the way, you’re really very adorable.
Hi Sandra,
I’ve been in a long-term relationship for over six years, lived together for two and a half. We’ve had our ups and downs emotionally, but I feel like we’re in a good place there. The problem is our sex life. She is rarely interested in sex, maybe two or three times a month, and I am looking for much more than that. I thought maybe the problem was my weight gain, but even after I lost about 50 pounds last year, there hasn’t been much improvement in frequency of sex. Now, it’s gotten to the point where even when she does want to have sex, she only wants to have oral or manual sex. She says that I’m too girthy and I make her sore, but when we were having sex regularly early in our relationship, that was never a problem. I don’t really know what to do, and it’s getting to the point of wanting to go outside the relationship to get my needs met. Any advice?
Thanks! I love the show.
Can you/your guests use the word “like”a little less? Like, totally like oh em gee, like wow
Sandra I really enjoy your show, my name is Clayton and I’m 21 years old, I live in Montana. just for shits and giggles i just wondering what are yours and Dave’s cheesy pick up lines and what pick up lines did in fact actually work. And Sandra I like your enthusiasm and your awesome nerd like ability’s that your not afraid to show. So i would like to thank you for the educational show that you and Dave do on not just safe sex but also fun and exciting sex. And yes lady’s there is a young lad that listens to this show.
Okay, what in the name of all that is woo woo is this glans massage nonsense!? Have you seen this!? Is this a real thing!? I couldn’t do it. I would have to be strapped down in the electric chair or something.
the to toolbar mybest
SNS,
Found your podcast a few weeks back and am really enjoying it. I am devouring current and past podcast(s) daily and really enjoying them. Your enthusiasm and attitude about all things sexual is refreshing and fun. I very soon hope to dip my toe in the podcast arena as a hobby of course but I hope it is as much fun as it seems you have. Keep up the good work and I look forward to enjoying you aurally as often as possible.
J
You talkie. Me likey.
Hey Sandra, I just discovered your podcasts and I’m really enjoying your open, honest, and humorous discussions. Keep up the good work!
Love your podcast. I signed up for your twitter acct.
I can’t wait for your video podcasts in the future.
SANDRAAAA!!!!!! we need help just stepped onto the swingin scene an want to do our first meet . . . NERVOUS!!! understatement AWKWARD always but this feel extra so!!!! I didn’t now an email address to send a proper discription too or a podcast that related please help love you . . . And dave especially his sexy voice xxxxxxxxxx
Sandra we need a foot fetish podcast please!!!!
A RESPONSE TO DAVE’S RAPE STORY:
It’s happened to me too! I’m a college student and lets just say alcohol can do terrifying things to the mind of the human female. She literally blocked the door and wouldn’t let me go until I had sex with her – even though we had no protection and her roommate was there! I eventually escaped but not after taking a significant verbal beatdown. Female rape is real and it’s a serious threat!
How do I send in an email question to you and Dave?
Hey Sandra and Dave!
I just started listening to your “most excellent” pod cast. I have to tell you that it’s so refreshing to hear a sex educator sound enthusiastic and more importantly sound genuine and real. I love that you are totally willing to say “I didn’t know that?” when provided info from a guest or any new info you have rec
Hello Sandra and Dave! I adore you guys, just, your attitudes and your humor, mirth, and joy you both bring. When will your next live podcast be, after your podcast in New York? I wasn’t able to make the February 1st show but it sounded like you guys had a blast! Thank you for all you guys do!
Hugs and gratitude,
Caitlin
I have just found the podcast and am enjoying it. As an amputee I’d love to hear a podcast from you on sex and disability. I’ve never been with a disabled partner (I’ve met very few other disabled people) and have found most women will say “no problem” when I tell them. After all how uncouth is it to have a problem with it? But when the pants and leg come off, sometimes I can see the turn off. Then they feel horrible about it! I try to tell them it’s okay to be freaked out, after all it IS freaky!
I’ve had one “one-nighter” with a woman I met skiing who told me she had always wanted to try an amputee. I’m below knee and SHE freaked me out when she wanted me to insert my stump. It worked but would have made a really wild picture. A guy with his leg in a woman to the knee!
I seriously love your podcast!! I can be in the worst mood and “poof” it’s gone! Thanks, nerd love forever…B
While browsing through Pinterest tonight I came across a saying.
“Hey Mr. Impatient, how about you go down a water slide while it isn’t wet. Then you will understand why foreplay is so important!”
It reminded me of you and your show. Anyway love the show keep up the great work!
Im in the bookstore trying to remember the name of that cunnilingus reference book your always talking about. I tjought it was cunnilingus for her but i just googled it and got nothing. Whats the name of the nook and the author
Whats the name and author of that cunnilingus for er book you are always referencing?
Sandra:
I heard your episode that you recorded at Vasser and I really have to call bullshit on something that came up. I simply do not believe in “cum clogs”. I’m a middle aged guy and have dumped more than my fair share of ejaculate down the drain and I have never seen a drain clog because of too much ejaculate. It’s water soluable and once the proteins denature it just rinses away. There is a very brief period where it gels a bit but that doesn’t last more than a minute or two and running water would wash that away faster than you could record it.
I think Dave has some weird issues around cum, remember the way he got so OCD about the possibility of some getting in his car when he talked about driving masturbation? Why don’t you ask around some of the folks in the porn industry if they have ever seen anything, ask some physiologists.
I just picked up your podcast this past month and have been eating it up. I really enjoy the casual approach you have taken in the show. It has been humorous and relatable. Now that Dave has left I hope the show will continue with the direction it has taken. He added a voice for the less initiated and made the show more inclusive. Best of luck.
I’m so sad to see Dave go. Honestly I don’t think I can watch it without him and his wit. Me and my friends really liked the diversity of opinion he subtly provided and his stories. Even though Sandra your awesome, you can seem very one sided sometimes so it’s hard for me to listen without Dave, but keep up the good work. It’s quality info your providing
What’s the use of having a comment board if you don’t answer people’s questions? If you can’t answer many of the questions….. Get Old Man Hardwick to get you some staff to help.
You could become the “Dear Abby” of Human sexual relations. :-{=
This is a free podcast you have not right to claim anything.
No Right to claim anything
Love your show,
Can we have an episode about how to talk with partners about sex when they are shy/new to most of these experiences? Bringing up topics when they have a reserved nature without creating a sense of expectation or inadequacy.
Thanks for all you do.
In your most recent podcast (Happy Steak and BJ Day!), you began by mentioning nasty criticisms you received. I don’t think you need to worry about that (although I hope you got the hug you needed). This most recent podcast was the most compelling of yours that I’ve ever heard. The talk was open, honest and warm — and, oh yeah, sufficiently humorous.
Just heard the podcast with Maria Falzone. I learned so many new ideas to teach my son about his body and sex/healthy touch. She needs to write a book on the topic!! I’ll be the first one to buy it. Go Team Fun!
I just want to say that I appreciate your show and have come back to listening to it as I like the new format – ie. your previous cohost was a major downer.
Your positivity an earnestness is great, and shines better in this setting.
Keep up the great work (with no more male debbie downers)!
Steve B.
Oh my!!!! I love your podcast! I listen to it everyday at work and one time didn’t have my headphones plugged in all the way and when I hit play all customers/coworkers/venders could hear was “CLIT” extremely loud. Needless to say, lots of blushing, but I still continue to listen but make sure my headphones are plugged in all the way. ;D Thank you so much for dedicating your personal time and hard work into this podcast and making this information easily accessible and damn well entertaining to listen to!
Sandra,
First off, let me start by saying I normally love your podcast and it helps me get through what would otherwise be mind numbing days at work here as an American in Malabo, Equatorial Guinea.
That being said, I felt as though I needed to write you after listening to the Steak and BJ episode. I found the episode entertaining and very interesting, right up until almost the very end. This was when one of your female guests decided to speak for the minds of all men. Besides being a bit offended by her apparent assumption that all men think alike, it made the lack of a male voice on the show suddenly very obvious.
This being the first episode I’ve heard without your former co-host, made this lack of perspective from a broader point of view even more obvious. Not having anyone there to say, “hey, not all guys necessarily react that way and, by the way, here’s the perspective from at least one individual on the receiving end”.
It also occurred to me that one of the things I really liked about Dave is that he sort of represented the “average person” on your podcast. As a straight, monogamous male, he gave me someone who I felt I could relate too and often brought up questions and comments that I found myself having.
Like I said at the top, I really do love your podcast and appreciate what you do. I find it incredibly entertainment, informative, and interesting. I just felt like I needed to share my opinion on this one episode.
Thank you for all the great podcasts and I hope the show continues to be awesome!
John
Was listening to the bj and steak podcast. Part of that sounded so one sided, if I got a guy off and he just stopped, that would be the last time I ever saw him. Women really put up with that ? Thats soooo mean. Positive sex means I get to have fun too. You need to encourage women to stick up for themselves or you are just part of the sex negativity we all dislike. I have known only a couple men that didnt care if I got off, i think most do. But the ones that dont need to be educated on how hurtful and mean that is. Sorry really like the podcasts generally but this hit a nerve , evidently.to hear women act like oh its ok if I dont have any fun. Smack them!!!
. They are ruining it for all of us.
I agree with John on this one. It’s kinda rude to put a bunch of men in categories like that. I DON’T know a single guy who is as oblivious as your friend mentioned
I don’t think the point is about being “rude” or “hurtful”. I assume that the ladies were simply being honest about their experiences. If you and your friends are enlightened, that’s great. Might it be possible to just assume that the comments in question were not about anyone like you?
A conversation where the participants aren’t straining to be 100% inoffensive makes great listening.
I’m a new, male, listener (started listening 6 weeks ago). I’ve listened to all the podcasts in this short time (I have a 3 hour daily commute) and it was interesting to see how the shows evolved.
I felt Dave not only brought some humor, but also a balance between entertainment and being lectured to.
I keep expecting to hear hime chime in.
I wanted to thank you for all the great shows and wish you luck in the future. I found the last two shows, too dry. Each to there own.
Can anyone here recommend a similar podcast, similar to the ‘Dave era’ ones?
“Like you’re a coal miner.”
First time listener. That line was hilarious. You girls were great.
It’s the Steak & BJ Episode @ 1:02:30.
Dear Sandra,
I’ve only been listening to your podcast for a couple of months now – and I know this is already outdated – but I wanted to commend you for your majorly heavy episode “Sexual Healing” with Kate Loree.
I had parents who weren’t typical, my mom was kinda tough and my dad was a little more conscious of his emotions, so I was never raised to believe that women were inferior nor should sexual assault and rape ever be condoned. Victimizing – and victim blaming – is sickening and it’s dizzying to think that in some corners of our world it is seen as a right to passage. It also disturbs me, some how, that I had never even heard of Steubenville until those to boys were convicted of raping that girl. What a way to get on the map. Anyway…
I have an immense interest in psychology, with a focus on trauma and recovery, healing, et al, and I found it very uplifting how you and Ms. Loree hit the heavy stuff like champs and then… well it’s like you guys sort of put the pajamas on this issue and nestled in with it. I am not a victim of sexual abuse or rape but I imagine that if a survivor were listening – and I am sure there were some, it would feel like talking to two of his/her best friends and receiving the best kind of support after a terrible ordeal.
I dream of a world where a victim can feel safe in being able to heal and it is, instead, the victimizer who looks at himself (sure there are women in this group, but for the sake of syntax…) in the mirror and has to accept that there is something wrong with him. Maybe then we can turn the healing on some of these people then and really put this issue to bed. Yay optimism(?).
There can never be healing without discourse. You can’t recover unless you sit down and say “This happened…” and you, Sandra, have added your voice – and your ears – to that kind of discourse. You do good work. You should be very proud.
Your friend,
Jim
P.S. Could there be discussion of maybe coming back to this topic once a year? A “Sexual Healing” month on the SNS podcast? I know it sounds like a bit of a bring down but I suppose we can’t just make it a thing for a little while and then make like it don’t exist.
Book lists?
Hey Sandra, love your podcast!! BTW, on your Steak and a BJ Podcast, you mentioned the cool relation between Valentine’s Day (girls give to guys) and White Day (Guys give to girls)… Working with a Japanese company for the past 10 years and spending between 2-3 months a year in Japan, it’s actually MORE pressure than the conventional Valentine’s Day from the west… In Japan, girls give to more than one guy (chocolates) and proper etiquette means guys should give back to all those girls that they received from, but gifts are usually not chocolate, but usually much more expensive. So sometimes you’ll see women “throwing out bait” and seeing how much they get back a month later… Pretty good business for the ladies if you ask me!!
Hi sandra, I saw you on tyt recently and I wanted to ask you for help. When I was 16 I started taking an anti depressant, after a year I stopped taking them but from then till the present (im 20 now) masturbation hasn’t felt the same, its like I can still feel pleasure and orgasm but its much less pleasurable. I don’t know what to do about it, I thought maybe I was over stimulating so I stopped for about 2 months but it was still the same when I tried again. Even when I especially “in the mood” it has never been the same. Are their any remedies for this, I’d love have things the way they used to be xD.
Antidepressants can be used for their side effect of cutting back on premature ejaculation. See a urologist and tell him your issue.
Well I do feel that the medicine could have caused the issue, but it’s been like 3 years since I took it and nothing has changed. Shouldn’t the medicines effect gone away by now? I mean I know feelings change over time so maybe since i’m used to the sensation it just doesn’t feel as good as the first few months of doing it?
Sorry to spam but i should specify that I am a girl not a guy, if that means anything.
@Raven
I did assume that you were a guy at first. I am pretty sure that antidepressants affect men and women differently.
I can tell you that you should really speak to a professional–perhaps an OB/GYN.
I’ve had a significant change in my sex life since I have been off antidepressants and then back on again with a lower dosage.
Hello Sandra, I really enjoy your podcast and i have a question hopefully you will answer. My wife and I were….. being sex positive and after one of her O’s she started crying, I guess. She said I didn’t hurt her, that I didn’t do anything wrong and that she didn’t know why she was upset. Is this normal, crazy, or what? Thanks in advance. Love the podcast.
Sandra, Love your podcast, your energy and YOU!
Didn’t you mention sometime back that you are a furry fan? If so, you might enjoy the Furry Kama Sutra, a website with a few photos of furries in simulated (I think…it’s kind of hard to tell) sexual positions. They’re at the website attached below. Apparently the same photographer was working on a book about people in the lifestyle as well.
Keep up the great work!
Hey, Sandra! I was playing catch-up with your podcast today over laundry and just needed to tell you that the Silence reference in “Kiss and Make Out” — yeah — golden. Also, I’m just raving over the Jessica Drake and virgin eps. All of the love from a fellow nerd (sex and otherwise).
Thank you for the dirty talk and polyamory podcasts! They have made mine and my hubby’s sexy times and communications fuggin cosmic
Stay stellar and sexy Sandra!
Xxoo
Julie Be
Hello fellow sex nerd! My boyfriend and I recently just started to listen to your podcast. He stumbled across your show on long distance relationships a few weeks ago and we’ve been marathon-style listening to the rest of the episodes ever since! I just want to thank you for providing a really nice way for both of us to learn about so many different aspects of sex and sexuality. We almost DIED of laughter yesterday when we discovered that this weeks edition was about prostate play. Just two days prior, we had a really open and fun discussion about how we wanted to explore this aspect of sex, and LO AND BEHOLD the very next day our favorite podcast-er fed our curiosity and gave us an EXCELLENT starting point as well as a feast of other resources. I just wanted to say thank you so much and keep up the good work!
Love your show and the way you share your knowledge.
Where do we ask questions for you to consider on the show?
Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to say that I’ve really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. After all I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!
You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be really something which I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and extremely broad for me. I’m looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!
So I am WAY behind on your podcast (like a year behind) but I just started listening to the BJ Basics podcast and I gotta say… my husband thanks you!! I also got over a “fear” of mine last night.. and swallowed for the first time!! Not as bad as I thought it would be, for sure. My husband knows not to expect this every time, but it’s nice to have that fear out of the way
Hi!
I heard the blurb at the beginning of your “In Hot Pursuit” podcast, and I think I can give a little background on the inflatable doll experience–perhaps a little too much, but it’s worth a shot.
I’ve enjoyed sex play with all sorts of inflatable toys since I was old enough to have sex at all. While I would definitely say I have at least a strong kink for them, I still enjoy sex with women (well, primarily one particular woman for the past 11 years), so I’m not sure if I meet the clinical definition of a fetish.
More on that in a bit, because while I definitely think it deserves more explanation, your specific question was on the love dolls on Adam & Eve.
I’ve played with three of the dolls Adam & Eve currently offers, and a different version of a fourth. Each is fun to some extent. So, in no particular order:
Yumi Asian Anime Doll – This doll inflates in a sort of legs-spread position. Missionary is possible if you don’t inflate the doll all the way (which is a good piece of advice in general for any man-on-top position with entry-level dolls; they’re not very sturdy). A guy will have to adjust both his and the doll’s position a few times to get into a groove. Doggy-style is possible also, again with partial inflation. It’s also very helpful if the guy has a longer penis or long legs. However, cowgirl and reverse cowgirl are lots of fun with this doll, even fully inflated!
Anime Love Doll Kishimoto – This isn’t actually a life-size doll, but rather a masturbation sleeve with a largish inflatable cover (not even really enough to hug). Not my first choice, now that I’ve had it out of the box. You can also get it cheaper elsewhere, which is semi-rare for Adam & Eve’s limited love doll selection.
Fatty Patty Love Doll (Billed on Adam & Eve as BBW Love Doll) – This love doll has a somewhat cartoonish face, but not as stylized as the face on the Yumi doll. This doll inflates into the standing position typical of dolls you’d see as bachelor party gags, particularly in TV and film, but is designed to look like, well, a Big Beautiful Woman. As with most “life size” love dolls, Fatty Patty “stands” about five feet tall, give or take (I put “stands” in quotes because for the most part, they not only don’t stand up on their own very well, but aren’t really at their best in the standing position). As a BBW, though, Fatty Patty is extremely cuddly, which can be a nice added feature that isn’t really talked about. This doll has very large breasts, though they are also shaped to look as though they are sagging a bit. You know, for “realism.” Even so, this is a very huggable doll, and that can be a turn-on, or just a nice creature comfort. Regardless of how much the doll is inflated, the best positions are basically what Jessica Drake calls “special mish” (where the guy’s legs are on the outside) and “special doggy” (ditto, but from behind). However, since Fatty Patty’s legs are molded straight, even “special doggy” is a little different. In any case, Fatty Patty is quite fun, and (as with most dolls) would be even more so with stronger seams. Durability is inversely proportional to inflation pressure and how often the guy is on top.
Sasha Grey Love Doll – This is a special case. I haven’t actually bought this doll, but I’ve seen it blown up, and the body is identical to a dozen or so other love dolls. Sasha Grey’s face is printed on the head, just as other women’s faces are printed on the other dolls. The body is made by a company called Nanma in the People’s Republic of China (a go-to country for this sort of sex toy), and inflates to about five feet tall. Unlike the Fatty Patty doll, the Sasha Grey figure is rather svelte, much like the real woman; unlike Sasha herself, the doll has (in my estimate) DD-cup breasts. (I’m a breast man as well, so I don’t particularly mind.) Sex positions (or would this count as masturbation? I’ve been fooling around with dolls for 25 years, and I’m still not sure) are pretty much the same as with Fatty Patty.
Oral sex with all of the dolls except the Kishimoto (which only has the one opening anyway) is…well, it’s there. The guy has to do most of the work, so it’s not going to be anything like the real deal unless he has a partner to help. Anal is almost the same as vaginal–so again, nothing like real life (based on what I know; I’ve never given or received anal sex, but I do know that it’s absolutely nothing like vaginal sex), but with different curves and bulges pressed against you.
The big thing to keep in mind with inflatable dolls is that playing with one is pretty much totally unrealistic (which is also why I laughed a bit when Eli Olsberg mentioned in the “In Hot Pursuit” show that he didn’t mind Barbie-doll type women in his porn, because they reminded him it’s a fantasy; I feel something of the same feeling about dolls!), so expecting one to be the same a real, live partner is really not productive. However, with this in mind, doll sex (or, again, masturbation) can still be fun as long as fun is the goal.
I recommend that a guy interested in any inflatable doll use a condom each time to make cleanup easier. Otherwise, washing out the doll gets cumbersome, and usually involves a handheld shower head or even a douche. Even so, a proper naughty monkey (I love that term!) should be prepared to clean his or her toys off every time, regardless of what goes into whom. Also, be prepared to use lots of lube. I consider myself to have an average sized penis, and inflatable dolls’ openings are a little snug even for me.
Now, back to the whole inflatable kink/fetish thing: I may be a little different from your average inflatable doll guy. Certainly I don’t fit the shallow Hollywood stereotype of the guy who buys a doll because he “can’t get a woman.” For one thing, I’ve been into inflatables of all kinds, not just dolls, as far back as I can remember. For another, I have pretty good verbal skills, and while I wouldn’t say I dated heavily before I married, I had some good relationships and some good friendships.
Inflatables are fun for a wide variety of reasons, not the least of which is that they’re just cute. They come in all sorts of shapes and bright colors–or even black if you’re trying to set that mood (there’s even an inflatable bondage chair–Google that when you have the time!). As I mentioned before with Fatty Patty, they can be cuddly, and lots of people like to cuddle. Depending on your shape preference, they can be fun for frottage. (For this, men tend to like just about anything, while the few women I’ve met who enjoy inflatables tend to prefer cylindrical shapes and other items they can straddle.) They’re good for bondage play (even if you don’t buy the bondage chair) and even trust play (there’s a whole subset of the kink or fetish dedicated to people who like to either puncture or explode toys, or have it done in front of them).
A love doll or other inflatable can also be a great third (or fourth, or fifth) partner for voyeur/exhibition play as well, and when one partner isn’t in the mood, a good backup plan, as long as the partner knows he or she is still number one in the bedroom.
The bottom line, for me at least, is that inflatables are an awesome supplement to my sex life, though I’m also fortunate enough to have a partner with whom I am able to be completely honest, who is happy to share my kinks when she’s in the mood, and who is sweet enough to indulge me or let me sneak off into the other room on occasion.
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Hi Sandra,
I was curious if you’re on FetLife and, if so, what is your screen-name? And if you haven’t discovered FetLife yet…we should talk. Haha
Ryan (aka RamboRyan)
This stuff has been around since the 1940′s but no one knows exactly where it came from. It needs energy to survive on a daily basis that are loaded with sugar and fat cravings! For example, methanal, ethanal and propanone – the common small aldehydes and raspberry ketones are related to the accumulation of fat in the bowels instead. Not taking enough water Water is an excellent choice for raspberry ketones. Vinegar contains acetic acid, ethyl acetate, vinyl acetate, polymers and drugs.
Sandra,
I discovered you after listening to your special voice and thoughts on Life on the Swingset. I had to hear more!!! Then I started downloading your podcasts. You have the greatest voice ever and you put together very thoughtful shows. Some are jammed packed with info which are great.(I’m thinking oral shows) That is what I love. In particular I want to commend you for the sensitive way you handled Dave leaving. I thought it was so real and very feeling. You were the best on that episode. The real, feeling, caring Sandra who was looking out for your listeners came through. Always believe that the listeners out here love the job your doing. I am a 57 yr old male who is learning things all the time from people like you, who really care. (I’m taking about you!!) Keep it up!!!
Thanks
John