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External Prostate Massage: I Got Cock Blocked

3 Jun

Angry rooster, get out of the way!

I’m both embarrassed and thrilled to find out this week that I’ve been cock blocked, quite literally, in my understanding of external prostate massage.

Lately, I’ve been obsessed with genitals. Or more specifically, their underlying structures. Recent time spent staring at Planned Parenthood’s diagrams (so detailed!) mixed with enlightening sex conference lectures have inspired me to take some of the fuzzier (read: enigmatic) pleasure areas and really flesh them out. 

One spot of confusion has been the male perineum. That is, the space between the scrotum and the anal opening. The way I’ve always heard it, to pleasure the prostate externally, just “push up on the area behind the balls.” I’ve experimented pressing on this area on partners many a-time, with little more reaction than a shrug. I finally figured I was just a super lame-o and moved on to other hot spots.

Then it HIT me this week while studying up on internal male anatomy for my workshop on backdoor basics. Staring at the location of the prostate***, my gaze drifted downward and was startled to notice what lay just beneath the surface of the perineum.

Diagram from Dr. Jack Morin’s fabulous book on “Anal Pleasure & Health.” I added the arrow for context. I highly recommend this book to everyone with an anus. Srsly.

Ahoy there! It be the bulb of the penis, where the deep end of the erection ends! Pressing up on the front half of the male perineum meets this bulb while the back half of the perineum has muscle, but no cock block. So it’s softer and offers up a secret pressure port to the prostate. Huh. Well look at that.

So, I realize now that I was pressing TOO FAR FORWARD! I always knew that an erection doesn’t end at the pubic mound. What I didn’t realize is that it ends close to the outside of the body, directly above the front half of the perineum! No wonder it always felt so hard! Duh!!!

And so my friends, we learn once again that, as with so many devilish delights, the pleasure is in the details.


***FYI The prostate gland is a walnut shaped rich bed of sensual nerve endings on male bodies that can be felt three or so inches past the anal open through the rectal wall toward the belly button. Ding dong! It originates from the same tissue source as the urethral sponge in women, commonly referred to as the G-spot.

Booty Basics! Links & Video

5 Oct

Yay! The Booty Basics episode is up! Part of exploring this thing called “Having My Own Show” is letting you know what stuff we were talking about!

So, here are NSFW-ish (depending on where you work) links to some stuff I mentioned on today’s show:

Water-based thick gel lube, called Maximus

Silicone-based lube, called Pjur Original (and apparently Babeland had the Pjur people put this great stuff into adorable, perky blue bottles now!)

A pink, jeweled glass butt plug: I can’t find that toy anywhere! Good thing it’s at least in this video on junk-in-your-trunk safety:

(If I ever miss anything I mention, just let me know and I’ll add it)

I hope you enjoy! Please leave an iTunes comment if you do!

Anal Safety 101: No Base, Without a Trace

2 Jul

Recently, Scientific American published a story on sex toy safety, written by Regina Nuzzo. It confirmed my sneaking suspicions. The number of people losing objects in their asses is on the rise.

I can understand why. With American sexuality coming out of the dark ages and into a kind of exploratory rennaissance, more and more people are discovering what their backdoor nerve endings can offer in the way of excellent sensation.

The article had this to say about who was most likely to visit the ER:

“…according to a 2009 study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy—most often, people in their 30s who needed help retrieving their vibrator or dildo. In 2007 alone about 900 people had injuries severe enough that they were admitted to the hospital to remove a foreign body from their rectums.”

It goes on to say that the numbers are most likely much higher, as these figures are only from people who actually admitted that they were exploring their backdoors for pleasure. I CONCUR! The shame so many feel when it comes to this perfectly normal behavior is astonishing at times.

I look forward to the day when wayward toys & household items lost in the digestive black holes of the hard working American is a thing of the past. (Unless it’s intentional, like poor Mr. Ryan Dunn)

However! Unless basic ass play safety is absorbed into the mainstream consciousness, our fantastic sexual Renaissance will lead to a whole bunch more “oh shit” moments (so to speak).

Here’s a PSA I created to help things along. Please pass it around. Only you can prevent Anal Emergencies. #The more you know



P.S. If you’re in Los Angeles, come out and support the July 8th Live Sex Nerd Sandra Podcast Show! We’ll be talking all about the G-spot in the most irreverent way possible. CLICK HERE for Tickets & Info!


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