Oh, pregnancy. I just learned a whole lot about buns in the oven today and it may have saved my life. Did you know doctors calculate one’s pregnancy due date by the first day of a female’s last period? And did you know doctors consider 14 days after that last crimson tide as the official egg-meets-sperm day, without much concern for mild inaccuracies? Yeah, it’s true. A doctor told me all about it over the internet (it’s actually a fantastic article on gyno history and math)
I’m both embarrassed and thrilled to find out this week that I’ve been cock blocked, quite literally, in my understanding of external prostate massage.
Lately, I’ve been obsessed with genitals. Or more specifically, their underlying structures. Recent time spent staring at Planned Parenthood’s diagrams (so detailed!) mixed with enlightening sex conference lectures have inspired me to take some of the fuzzier (read: enigmatic) pleasure areas and really flesh them out.
One spot of confusion has been the male perineum. That is, the space between the scrotum and the anal opening. The way I’ve always heard it, to pleasure the prostate externally, just “push up on the area behind the balls.” I’ve experimented pressing on this area on partners many a-time, with little more reaction than a shrug. I finally figured I was just a super lame-o and moved on to other hot spots.
Then it HIT me this week while studying up on internal male anatomy for my workshop on backdoor basics. Staring at the location of the prostate***, my gaze drifted downward and was startled to notice what lay just beneath the surface of the perineum.
Ahoy there! It be the bulb of the penis, where the deep end of the erection ends! Pressing up on the front half of the male perineum meets this bulb while the back half of the perineum has muscle, but no cock block. So it’s softer and offers up a secret pressure port to the prostate. Huh. Well look at that.
So, I realize now that I was pressing TOO FAR FORWARD! I always knew that an erection doesn’t end at the pubic mound. What I didn’t realize is that it ends close to the outside of the body, directly above the front half of the perineum! No wonder it always felt so hard! Duh!!!
And so my friends, we learn once again that, as with so many devilish delights, the pleasure is in the details.
***FYI The prostate gland is a walnut shaped rich bed of sensual nerve endings on male bodies that can be felt three or so inches past the anal open through the rectal wall toward the belly button. Ding dong! It originates from the same tissue source as the urethral sponge in women, commonly referred to as the G-spot.
Wow. Well this week’s show is a solid win for wellness. In the studio Dave Ross and I had Rachel, a passionate, vivacious woman living with cancer. When I met her I was moved by just how pissed she was at her doctors for not knowing a thing about sex & cancer, so of course, I had to have her on the show!
This post is in 3 Parts: Fundraising, Links & Extra Tips from Rachel!
I am raising money for Elaine, my wonderful “Taboo” podcast guest. Sex Nerd Sandra is a non-profit show done out of love. So PLEASE SUPPORT MY DEAR FRIEND TO HELP ME SLEEP BETTER AT NIGHT. She was just diagnosed with breast cancer. This is breast cancer awareness month. Please click on the link and support.
Now to the sex part…
2) Links to Stuff mentioned on this week’s show:
Luna Beads for vaginal fitness (welcome to THIS gun show!)
Je Joue Ami kegel ball set (alternate route to the gun show)
Sliquid Natural Organic Lube (great for women who are sensitive to chemicals)
FeMani Vibes vaginal dialators (3 different sizes to choose from. Strong vibration, too. Bonus!)
Silk Tantus dildo in 3 sizes. Silicone option for dialation.
Botanicals for Hope has body products specifically designed for cancer patients to stay silky smooth & sexy!
Book: “Urban Tantra” by Barbara Carrellas (Fantastic exercises for getting sexy-minded and connecting with yourself or your partner.
AND here’s a book I just saw that’s pertinent: “Intimacy After Cancer: A Woman’s Guide“
First, THANK YOU for the podcast – I started listening after being a loyal nerdist listener, and it’s been informative and fun!
I read your blog post about the Kimono microthin condoms and wanted to ask a question.
My partner and I are having a LOT of problems finding the “right” condom because of my shape.
I have what she calls “Torpedo dick”, with a relatively narrow head and a very thick base. I don’t think I’m extremely big (5-6″? ish?). Because of that we’re having a lot of issues with slippage, bad fits, and lack of sensation.
THE QUESTION: Would you suggest the Kimonos as an option, or is there another brand / type you think would work?
We’ve tried the Durex large and the Lifestyles Skyn large – neither were satisfactory.
I have a favorite condom. You might notice my enthusiasm above.
As a woman, I never thought I would become so impassioned by condoms, but turns out I have good reason.
It all started with a male partner who wore regular condoms. Now it could have been Trojan, Lifestyles, Durex, whatever. Just regular sized condoms.
Click here for the full scoop
“Ugggghhhhhhhh.” Since the end of July I’ve had this prolonged medical fiaso that culminated recently in a magic operation. Two weeks earlier I also lost one of the most important people in my life. I went into surgery crying and I woke up crying. Now I’m back to work in two days after two weeks of narcotic post-surgical BSG catch up. I feel like someone has steamrolled my soul. “Uggghhhhhhh, bleeding heart!!!”