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Hilarious Hate Mail

30 Apr

It’s been an interesting few months. It’s the first time I’ve slowed down enough to calmly take solid inventory of my life, my work and my direction. Since Dave Ross, my former co-host, left the show in March, I’ve experienced a marvelous uptick in how many people hate me, my work and my show. It nearly matches how many hate emails I received over bringing on a co-host in the first place. 

I’ve learned something deep in my butterfly place from this and it has toughened me. Forever and ever I will know that I cannot please everyone. And when I evolve, as we humans tend to do within our lifetime, some people’s expectations about what I provide them as a humongous sex nerd will not be met. Apologies ahead of time.

To my delight, I received a miserable email yesterday from a listener named “J R.” Take a gander:

“Hey, I’m a straight male who recently heard about your podcast and was excited to try it out. Sadly, it was incredibly useless. Like almost every other supposed ‘sex-positive’ resource, it has nothing to help me express and enjoy my sexuality.

Not only that, but you were stunningly oblivious to the double standards you were stating: I seriously doubt you would have spent the same amount of time discussing the merits of various fake vaginas, advocating for public male masturbation during the daily commute, and having an extended conversation attempting to help men get laid off of Craigslist. 
 
As usual, you’re a sex-positive feminist who is vastly interested in all types of sexuality except those of the average het cis male. Your guest in the first episode complained about the lack of male attendance at the cunnilingus classes – perhaps if you and her could take a fraction of the time you spend discussing vibrators and apply it to figuring out male sexuality, you’d know why they aren’t coming and how to get them to attend.”

I find this email hilarious, though I am not laughing. For all the mental effort I’ve put into using inclusive language and varying podcast topics, this gentleman presents proof of my shortcomings by citing my very first episode. The episode I was terrified of. The one where I was naive enough to record it in front of a live audience. HILARIOUS. 

This email brings to light how much time I’ve spent on cis-hetero-male sexuality. Episodes like “Prostate Play: Take it Like a Man,” “The Penis Power Hour,” “The Man Box” aside, I acknowledge male bodies and pleasure almost every episode, possibly to the detriment to other orientations and genders! I even shot a video celebrating the Tenga Masturbation Sleeve at a time when I was unbearably shy about shooting videos at all. 

So, this letter is welcome. It let me take a moment to survey my work this last while and feel like, yeah, I may beat myself up at times for not being perfect or the best or the most anything other than me, but damn it, I’ve been true to us. All of us. I try. And I keep trying.

Thanks J R and thanks to everyone who has supported me along the way. 

******
SAME DAY CLARIFICATION: Since this post is receiving an interesting variety of comments, let me say this:
  1. Dave is great and I appreciate the body of work we’ve created together.
  2. To the haters: I am utterly happy with where I’ve arrived with my most recent 2 episodes. Either catch up or shut up. 
  3. To the Listeners: Thank you for your lovely comments! Keep being kick ass. I learn from you all the time and am humbled by our engagement. Much love.

VOTE for Sex Nerd Sandra! (for Best Mature Podcast)

2 Nov

Friends, I implore you. The time has come to cast your vote. Right now. Seriously, it’s really easy. Be a patriot.

Click HERE to go to PodCastAwards.com and click “Sex Nerd Sandra” under MATURE podcasts. You just enter name & email and you’re done!

If you really love Dave & Me, you’ll vote every day till Nov 15th (hint, hint, guilt, guilt). Plus, you can vote for other Nerdist faves “The Indoor Kids” and “Mike & Tom Eat Snacks.” Also, “The Young Turks” is on there and by golly, I did so enjoy being on their show, “The Point.” 

The Dan Savage podcast is such a popular pick. He does wonderful, meaningful work for world change and all, but pshaw, that makes our show the underdog. VOTE FOR THE UNDERDOG!!! Woof woof! 

I haven’t won an award since I was a little thing in AYSO soccer and everyone got an award. Remedy this, nerdlings!

Upcoming Events!

9 Apr

My forte is sex ed, not marketing or blog interfacing, so until I figure out how to set up a side panel of Upcoming Events, here’s what’s comin’ up!

WORKSHOP: April 18th – teaching “Suck it, Lick it, Love it” oral sex on males and females @pleasurechestLA – 8pm free

LIVE SHOW: April 23rd – “Open Relationships: Love Outside the Box” SNS Podcast recording @nerdmeltla in hollywood – 8pm $10

LIVE SHOW: May 18th – Live SNS Podcast Recording (topic tba) @nerdmeltla in hollywood – 7:30pm $10

WORKSHOP: July 23rd – teaching “Beginner Booty Basics! ” – Good Vibes in San Francisco (details tba) $20/$25

And if you know how to wordpress better than me, help a sex nerd out!

Pearl Necklace Pics – Ep. Sex Quemments #3

23 Nov

Visual aid to Pearl Necklace tip. And this is the moment Jamye sqeals adorably.

Dave enjoys Jamye's pearl necklace

Visual aid to the G-spot/Pereneal sponge double whammy!

Click for a list of goodies we mentioned on the show!

Booty Basics! Links & Video

5 Oct

Yay! The Booty Basics episode is up! Part of exploring this thing called “Having My Own Show” is letting you know what stuff we were talking about!

So, here are NSFW-ish (depending on where you work) links to some stuff I mentioned on today’s show:

Water-based thick gel lube, called Maximus

Silicone-based lube, called Pjur Original (and apparently Babeland had the Pjur people put this great stuff into adorable, perky blue bottles now!)

A pink, jeweled glass butt plug: I can’t find that toy anywhere! Good thing it’s at least in this video on junk-in-your-trunk safety:

(If I ever miss anything I mention, just let me know and I’ll add it)

I hope you enjoy! Please leave an iTunes comment if you do!

My Favorite Dom, LIVE!

14 Sep

Tomorrow night, at NerdMelt in Hollywood, Dave Ross and I are talking to my favorite dom and a very good friend, Mary Typhus.

And she’s funny, too!

 We’ll be digging into Mary’s toybox a little, so come out and see us be silly with whips. (I’ll try not to poke an eye out).

Tickets are $8, $10 at the door. Show starts at 8pm Sept 15th at the back of Meltdown Comics.

TICKETS HERE: http://www.nerdmeltla.com/tickets/index.php?event_id=41

G-Spot TMI Podcast Pics!

17 Aug

Hi ya! Here’s a couple photos from the “G-Spot TMI” show recorded at NerdMelt in Los Angeles, presented by Nerdist Industries. I had such a great time at this show. Many thanks again to my guest, sex & relationship coach, Catherine Toyooka, who can be found at: www.CatherineCoaches.com

Catherine & I show off our g-spotting toys after the show at NerdMelt

After the show, Catherine & I hopped back over to the ANE convention for a sex toy luau, hosted by Papaya Toys. Now that was a fun-filled day!

We got lei'd after the show

Can’t wait till next week when Nerdist Industries reveals my “Handjobs for Everyone” podcast with funny man Dave Ross!

Till then, remember: There are always batteries in the TV remote!

This Tuesday, Laugh with us!

6 Aug

If you live in Los Angeles, be in the know. This Tuesday, August 9th, several Pleasure Chest LA coworkers, plus Nerdist’s Matthew Burnside are joining me for a round of:

“WHAT’S IT LIKE TO WORK AT A SEX STORE?”

I’m so excited I could female ejaculate. Or something.

Join us! It will be ridiculous fun.

(Plus, I have a feeling I might have a prizes, hmm?)

Oh yeah, if you buy tickets in advance, they’re only 8 bucks. Nice!

Where: NerdMelt @Meltdown Comics 7522 Sunset Blvd 90046

The Sex Nerd Sandra PODCAST presented by Nerdist is alive! ALIVE!!!

5 Aug

Episode 1: Foreplay + is ready for your ears! Enjoy some SIC (Sexually Informative Conversation) by CLICKING HERE. You can also SUBSCRIBE on iTunes.

I want to hug the adorable artwork

Such a relief to have my first podcast out in the world! I was so nervous, and my guests were so great! Big hugs to Mary & Hernando for making my first podcast so much fun!

My wonderfully talented friend, Elaine Theresa Smith took pics that night. Photos are like podcast accessories for your eyes!

First I talk...

Then Mary joins me up on stage...

...and then Dr. Hernando Chaves shows us a thing or two!

Click HERE for Podcast details!

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