Archive | sex RSS feed for this section

Butt Stuff Haiku

13 May

Some folks say it’s weird

Or gay or dirty or hurts

Nope. It’s just butt stuff.

“Don’t Touch Like You Text”

5 May

I’ve been thinking about fingertips a lot lately. Specifically how we use them in our day and how that translates to our night. I tweeted yesterday, “Don’t touch like  you text” and I received several responses musing about what that might mean. 

It all started a few years ago as a baby sex educator when I was hired by a woman who wanted to give a great blow job. I had been teaching public classes for a while, so why not? From what she told me, her boyfriend’s lack of enthusiasm was getting to her and I was happy to figure things out. 

Dildos in place on the table, I drilled her about her man’s preferences. Her mouth technique was in order. She seemed to be doing plenty of things right. What could it be?

Next, I Nancy Drew’d her Kung Fu grip, watching as she stroked the lubricated shaft, noticing a stuttering drag. 

“Grip my forearm.”

“What?” she asked, startled.

“Grip my forearm. I want to feel how you are squeezing the shaft.”

Everything crystallized. The woman had been squeezing his erect member like she was popping bubble wrap with the pads of her fingers. 

Once I worked with her to compress from her palm instead, everything fell into place. Mouth to hand, hand to other hand, her movements flowing together I was proud of her and my mind on fire. I thought this was only a female-pleasuring offense!

After investigating this observation over the years, I’ve found that folks tend to grip from the fingertip down. Everyday texting, typing and button-pushing activities do not prepare us for the nuanced needs of our nerve endings.

Recently, I decided it was time to find easy ways to turn these habits around, so I’ve been developing new exercises for better lovership. Just imagine all the ways we can use our hands for pleasure beyond our fingertips! It’s almost too much for my brain to take.

So that’s where I’m at and what’s on my mind. 

 

 

Thank YOU for 100!

12 Jul
People were sitting on the ground it was so packed in there!

People were sitting on the ground it was so packed in there!

Sometimes I have no idea what drives me to be the nerd that I am about humans and their bloody relationships. Originally, I thought I just wanted to help change the world. Then I noticed the alien inside me who struggles to understand the human race. Always, there has been a little scientist inside there, too, trying to figure myself out.

I’ve realized underneath all that it’s pretty simple. I am more fascinated by our similarities than by our differences. Each of us is a wonderfully unique little snowflake, and if you come together and share something, you get to see the snow.

Thank you for all your love, enthusiasm and support through this first 100. Sex Nerds are awesome. Go Team Fun!

***

The 100th episode of Sex Nerd Sandra was recorded live as a Bawdy Storytelling show (click to listen!). Thank you to Ted, Jaiya Ma, Ned Mayhem, Reid Mihalko, Sara Benincasa, musical guest Windows to Sky and the Mistress of Bawdy Stories, Dixie De La Tour!

100 EPISODE CELEBRATION!

12 Jun

wow. Wow. WOW! 100 episodes! It’s time to celebrate! Do you like laughing really hard? Good, because that’s what we’ll be doing June 27th at my 100th Episode live with Dixie de la Tour’s Bawdy storytelling!

Things to know:

  1. Don’t be shy inviting your LA friends. Even if they seem a bit “vanilla” they will have MORE fun because of this.
  2. Sex geeks are beeing shipped down from San Francisco just for YOU so they can tell us their crazy stories!
  3. You will kick yourself for not going once you listen to the episode. SEEING IT LIVE TAKES IT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL!

BUY TICKETS! They’re $12 and very tasty. LA needs more action like this is its life. Get to it!

FEBRUARY SEX NERD EVENTS! LA, NYC, VASSAR & SF!

23 Jan

Here’s your portal to sex nerd events for the coming month!

LOS ANGELES 

FEB 1ST: @NerdMeltLA in West Hollywood

Feb 6th: BLOWJOBS & BEYOND @PleasureChestLA 8pm Free

NEW YORK CITY

SAN FRANCISCO – Good Vibes 6:30-8:30 each night

My Sexy, Serious Year in Summary

31 Dec
Escaping the Sumo Suit at Dave's Birthday Party

Escaping the Sumo Suit at Dave’s Birthday Party

Scrolling through my cell phone pictures this evening, I saw a year that was possibly the most wonderful and most difficult I’ve ever had. Every once in a while I get a comment on something I’ve posted saying “Your life is so much more fun than mine!” Humored, I want to yell back, “Don’t compare your raw footage to my highlight reel!” 

With all the drama life can bring, there are also ENDLESS opportunities for friendship, adventure and sexy fun. So with all social network-y smoke & mirrors aside, here is a raw, honest retrospective of my year: 

    • Sumo Wrestled
    • Had a really awkward one night stand
    • Met new relatives in Japan
    • Came to understand the guitar
    • Taught a lot
    • Loved a lot
    • Listened a ton
    • Played trampoline dodge ball
    • Spoke at my first conferences
    • Befriended dozens of wonderful humans
    • Found the famed panty vending machines of Tokyo
    • Initiated a lot of difficult conversations
    • Hosted many live shows
    • Got really into Draw Something for a second
    • Met one of my heroes
    • Went zip lining
    • Fell in love once
    • Felt my heart break twice.
    • Went to my first music festival.
    • Got clinically depressed and then got better again.
    • Met Bill Nye the Science Guy
    • Felt plenty of fear, jealousy and rage
    • Also felt a heaping dose of joy, gratitude and delight
    • Learned how to take a compliment
    • Hiked up to an abandoned California Nazi compound
    • Experienced a neck orgasm
    • Learned to sing again
    • Volunteered my time
    • Nursed a friend in the hospital
    • Almost lost a parent
    • Had countless epiphanies
    • Freaked out about writing a book
    • Discovered a hammock garden in Austin, TX.
    • Saw my sister graduate high school
    • Kissed a woman on the evening news
    • Let many people down and surprised others
    • Finally brought out the accordion I inherited
    • Coordinated, planned and released a podcast every week
    • Sexted a super naughty picture.
    • Learned how to throw a punch
    • Had my first swing dance in 10 years
    • Went to Disneyland
    • Made friends with a sex machine
    • Saw Barack Obama in person
    • Got space shuttle Endeavor to fly right over my head
    • Won a costume contest
    • Braved a singles event
    • Applied to grad school
    • … And asked for many fantastic hugs

Wow, sex really is part of a healthy, balanced life diet. Cheers to a frackin’ fantastic 2013!!!

3 Mantras for Terrible Lovemaking

7 Dec

When things first get sexy, mental chatter can drown out our partner’s heavy breathing. Sometimes, we’re not even aware of how our inner monologues effect our pleasuring behavior. I think you’re swell, dandy and darn good looking. Because I like you so much, I want you to have the best there is in the bedroom. Here are three common mediocre mantras that will not help our mission: 

MANTRA #1: “I’m Going to Make You Cum”

VARIATION: “I’m really good at fellatio/cunnilingus/[insert sex act here]“

Orgasm is not the goal. That would be pleasure. Orgasm is what happens when you’re busy having fun. A demanding sexual ego = Not Fun. Send that buzz kill of an expectation packing and enjoy everyone’s genitals unclenching. 

MANTRA #2: “Am I doing this right!?”

VARIATION: “Oh please like this. Please, oh please?”

Where the first mantra is the pinnacle of egoism, this one is the height of insecurity. In the land of pleasure, there is no “right,” nor are there “should’s” or “must’s.” It is a land of wonderful possibility and infinite opportunity. Listen for ragged breathing, look for flushed skin and feel for tensing muscles. If their bodily arousal isn’t apparent, keep playing with sexual variables.

MANTRA #3: “This is How All My Other Partners Liked it”

VARIATION: “Why aren’t you working right!?”

Stop. Right. Now. Put down your habits. Do it quickly. Every new fun-time partner means expanding your hands-on skill set. FANTABULOUS! Just remember, with each new terrain comes new curves in the road. The first few times, you might wanna slow down around the bend. 

And so, dear friend, if you hear any of the above rattling around, tell it to go “shush” itself and enjoy the panting. Go Team Fun!

Oct 11 – Free Workshops in SANTA BARBARA this Thurs!

8 Oct

As I mentioned on the podcast the last few weeks, I’ll be having TONS of fun with Love Campus Tour at UC Santa Barbara’s Corwin Pavilion! 11 am I talk ORAL SEX & at 1:30 I rock a class on SEX TOYS. Tell anyone you know in the Santa Barbara area I AM COMING FOR YOU! 

(Then, I’m BACK IN LOS ANGELES that evening for Sex Nerds Unite! My Crowd-Sourcing Sex Ed Show!)

SEX NERDS UNITE! A Crowd-Sourced Sex Ed Show!

19 Sep

To balance out my guilt from not posting on my blog very much, I’ll share with you a little tidbit from my own life that I HAVEN’T shared on the podcast as of yet. 

I recently had sex with a sex machine. Yeah, those thrusty kinds that go in-out-in-out… Yep. It was so cooool. I’d be lying if I didn’t say part of me was thinking “Huh, interesting. Very interesting” while another part of me was going “yeaaaaaaah.”

Okay, guilt assuaged. NOW ONTO THIS SITUATION OF AWESOME!

On THURSDAY OCTOBER 11TH @9pm this is happening at the Nerdist Showroom

Sex Nerds Unite!

Wanna hear some juicy questions on love & pleasure? Great! Because I get them ALL THE TIME! Join me, sex-positive coach & educator Sex Nerd Sandra as I answer my favorite listener emails and ask YOU to help me nerd out on sex. Audience questions are welcome and encouraged! 

Podcast host & sex educator Sex Nerd Sandra REALLY wants to tell you about a neat sex tip she just learned. And so it goes with a sex nerd. With two MILLION downloads in the first year, her Nerdist Industries podcast “Sex Nerd Sandra” with co-host Dave Ross has beamed sex positive knowledge directly into ears everywhere. It’s been quite an adventure blending her broadcasting skills with a lifetime of sex nerdery. Continually expanding on a wide range of skill sets for the erotic & neurotic, Sandra can’t wait to dish dirt with you for the betterment of humanity! 

***No one under 18 admitted

~~SCORE YOUR TICKET HERE!~~

Oh snap I can’t wait!

Upcoming Workshops & Show Dates!!!

21 Jul

Oh man, fresh off the plane back from Japan and so much happening this Fall!

Continue reading

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 338 other followers