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Thank YOU for 100!

12 Jul
People were sitting on the ground it was so packed in there!

People were sitting on the ground it was so packed in there!

Sometimes I have no idea what drives me to be the nerd that I am about humans and their bloody relationships. Originally, I thought I just wanted to help change the world. Then I noticed the alien inside me who struggles to understand the human race. Always, there has been a little scientist inside there, too, trying to figure myself out.

I’ve realized underneath all that it’s pretty simple. I am more fascinated by our similarities than by our differences. Each of us is a wonderfully unique little snowflake, and if you come together and share something, you get to see the snow.

Thank you for all your love, enthusiasm and support through this first 100. Sex Nerds are awesome. Go Team Fun!


The 100th episode of Sex Nerd Sandra was recorded live as a Bawdy Storytelling show (click to listen!). Thank you to Ted, Jaiya Ma, Ned Mayhem, Reid Mihalko, Sara Benincasa, musical guest Windows to Sky and the Mistress of Bawdy Stories, Dixie De La Tour!


12 Jun

wow. Wow. WOW! 100 episodes! It’s time to celebrate! Do you like laughing really hard? Good, because that’s what we’ll be doing June 27th at my 100th Episode live with Dixie de la Tour’s Bawdy storytelling!

Things to know:

  1. Don’t be shy inviting your LA friends. Even if they seem a bit “vanilla” they will have MORE fun because of this.
  2. Sex geeks are beeing shipped down from San Francisco just for YOU so they can tell us their crazy stories!
  3. You will kick yourself for not going once you listen to the episode. SEEING IT LIVE TAKES IT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL!

BUY TICKETS! They’re $12 and very tasty. LA needs more action like this is its life. Get to it!


23 Jan

Here’s your portal to sex nerd events for the coming month!


FEB 1ST: @NerdMeltLA in West Hollywood

Feb 6th: BLOWJOBS & BEYOND @PleasureChestLA 8pm Free


SAN FRANCISCO – Good Vibes 6:30-8:30 each night

My Sexy, Serious Year in Summary

31 Dec
Escaping the Sumo Suit at Dave's Birthday Party

Escaping the Sumo Suit at Dave’s Birthday Party

Scrolling through my cell phone pictures this evening, I saw a year that was possibly the most wonderful and most difficult I’ve ever had. Every once in a while I get a comment on something I’ve posted saying “Your life is so much more fun than mine!” Humored, I want to yell back, “Don’t compare your raw footage to my highlight reel!” 

With all the drama life can bring, there are also ENDLESS opportunities for friendship, adventure and sexy fun. So with all social network-y smoke & mirrors aside, here is a raw, honest retrospective of my year: 

    • Sumo Wrestled
    • Had a really awkward one night stand
    • Met new relatives in Japan
    • Came to understand the guitar
    • Taught a lot
    • Loved a lot
    • Listened a ton
    • Played trampoline dodge ball
    • Spoke at my first conferences
    • Befriended dozens of wonderful humans
    • Found the famed panty vending machines of Tokyo
    • Initiated a lot of difficult conversations
    • Hosted many live shows
    • Got really into Draw Something for a second
    • Met one of my heroes
    • Went zip lining
    • Fell in love once
    • Felt my heart break twice.
    • Went to my first music festival.
    • Got clinically depressed and then got better again.
    • Met Bill Nye the Science Guy
    • Felt plenty of fear, jealousy and rage
    • Also felt a heaping dose of joy, gratitude and delight
    • Learned how to take a compliment
    • Hiked up to an abandoned California Nazi compound
    • Experienced a neck orgasm
    • Learned to sing again
    • Volunteered my time
    • Nursed a friend in the hospital
    • Almost lost a parent
    • Had countless epiphanies
    • Freaked out about writing a book
    • Discovered a hammock garden in Austin, TX.
    • Saw my sister graduate high school
    • Kissed a woman on the evening news
    • Let many people down and surprised others
    • Finally brought out the accordion I inherited
    • Coordinated, planned and released a podcast every week
    • Sexted a super naughty picture.
    • Learned how to throw a punch
    • Had my first swing dance in 10 years
    • Went to Disneyland
    • Made friends with a sex machine
    • Saw Barack Obama in person
    • Got space shuttle Endeavor to fly right over my head
    • Won a costume contest
    • Braved a singles event
    • Applied to grad school
    • … And asked for many fantastic hugs

Wow, sex really is part of a healthy, balanced life diet. Cheers to a frackin’ fantastic 2013!!!

3 Mantras for Terrible Lovemaking

7 Dec

When things first get sexy, mental chatter can drown out our partner’s heavy breathing. Sometimes, we’re not even aware of how our inner monologues effect our pleasuring behavior. I think you’re swell, dandy and darn good looking. Because I like you so much, I want you to have the best there is in the bedroom. Here are three common mediocre mantras that will not help our mission: 

MANTRA #1: “I’m Going to Make You Cum”

VARIATION: “I’m really good at fellatio/cunnilingus/[insert sex act here]“

Orgasm is not the goal. That would be pleasure. Orgasm is what happens when you’re busy having fun. A demanding sexual ego = Not Fun. Send that buzz kill of an expectation packing and enjoy everyone’s genitals unclenching. 

MANTRA #2: “Am I doing this right!?”

VARIATION: “Oh please like this. Please, oh please?”

Where the first mantra is the pinnacle of egoism, this one is the height of insecurity. In the land of pleasure, there is no “right,” nor are there “should’s” or “must’s.” It is a land of wonderful possibility and infinite opportunity. Listen for ragged breathing, look for flushed skin and feel for tensing muscles. If their bodily arousal isn’t apparent, keep playing with sexual variables.

MANTRA #3: “This is How All My Other Partners Liked it”

VARIATION: “Why aren’t you working right!?”

Stop. Right. Now. Put down your habits. Do it quickly. Every new fun-time partner means expanding your hands-on skill set. FANTABULOUS! Just remember, with each new terrain comes new curves in the road. The first few times, you might wanna slow down around the bend. 

And so, dear friend, if you hear any of the above rattling around, tell it to go “shush” itself and enjoy the panting. Go Team Fun!

Oct 11 – Free Workshops in SANTA BARBARA this Thurs!

8 Oct

As I mentioned on the podcast the last few weeks, I’ll be having TONS of fun with Love Campus Tour at UC Santa Barbara’s Corwin Pavilion! 11 am I talk ORAL SEX & at 1:30 I rock a class on SEX TOYS. Tell anyone you know in the Santa Barbara area I AM COMING FOR YOU! 

(Then, I’m BACK IN LOS ANGELES that evening for Sex Nerds Unite! My Crowd-Sourcing Sex Ed Show!)

SEX NERDS UNITE! A Crowd-Sourced Sex Ed Show!

19 Sep

To balance out my guilt from not posting on my blog very much, I’ll share with you a little tidbit from my own life that I HAVEN’T shared on the podcast as of yet. 

I recently had sex with a sex machine. Yeah, those thrusty kinds that go in-out-in-out… Yep. It was so cooool. I’d be lying if I didn’t say part of me was thinking “Huh, interesting. Very interesting” while another part of me was going “yeaaaaaaah.”


On THURSDAY OCTOBER 11TH @9pm this is happening at the Nerdist Showroom

Sex Nerds Unite!

Wanna hear some juicy questions on love & pleasure? Great! Because I get them ALL THE TIME! Join me, sex-positive coach & educator Sex Nerd Sandra as I answer my favorite listener emails and ask YOU to help me nerd out on sex. Audience questions are welcome and encouraged! 

Podcast host & sex educator Sex Nerd Sandra REALLY wants to tell you about a neat sex tip she just learned. And so it goes with a sex nerd. With two MILLION downloads in the first year, her Nerdist Industries podcast “Sex Nerd Sandra” with co-host Dave Ross has beamed sex positive knowledge directly into ears everywhere. It’s been quite an adventure blending her broadcasting skills with a lifetime of sex nerdery. Continually expanding on a wide range of skill sets for the erotic & neurotic, Sandra can’t wait to dish dirt with you for the betterment of humanity! 

***No one under 18 admitted


Oh snap I can’t wait!

Upcoming Workshops & Show Dates!!!

21 Jul

Oh man, fresh off the plane back from Japan and so much happening this Fall!

Continue reading

External Prostate Massage: I Got Cock Blocked

3 Jun

Angry rooster, get out of the way!

I’m both embarrassed and thrilled to find out this week that I’ve been cock blocked, quite literally, in my understanding of external prostate massage.

Lately, I’ve been obsessed with genitals. Or more specifically, their underlying structures. Recent time spent staring at Planned Parenthood’s diagrams (so detailed!) mixed with enlightening sex conference lectures have inspired me to take some of the fuzzier (read: enigmatic) pleasure areas and really flesh them out. 

One spot of confusion has been the male perineum. That is, the space between the scrotum and the anal opening. The way I’ve always heard it, to pleasure the prostate externally, just “push up on the area behind the balls.” I’ve experimented pressing on this area on partners many a-time, with little more reaction than a shrug. I finally figured I was just a super lame-o and moved on to other hot spots.

Then it HIT me this week while studying up on internal male anatomy for my workshop on backdoor basics. Staring at the location of the prostate***, my gaze drifted downward and was startled to notice what lay just beneath the surface of the perineum.

Diagram from Dr. Jack Morin’s fabulous book on “Anal Pleasure & Health.” I added the arrow for context. I highly recommend this book to everyone with an anus. Srsly.

Ahoy there! It be the bulb of the penis, where the deep end of the erection ends! Pressing up on the front half of the male perineum meets this bulb while the back half of the perineum has muscle, but no cock block. So it’s softer and offers up a secret pressure port to the prostate. Huh. Well look at that.

So, I realize now that I was pressing TOO FAR FORWARD! I always knew that an erection doesn’t end at the pubic mound. What I didn’t realize is that it ends close to the outside of the body, directly above the front half of the perineum! No wonder it always felt so hard! Duh!!!

And so my friends, we learn once again that, as with so many devilish delights, the pleasure is in the details.


***FYI The prostate gland is a walnut shaped rich bed of sensual nerve endings on male bodies that can be felt three or so inches past the anal open through the rectal wall toward the belly button. Ding dong! It originates from the same tissue source as the urethral sponge in women, commonly referred to as the G-spot.

Sex Books for the Discerning Sex Nerd!

11 May

Look! I did a video! Yeah, I know, I know, a new podcast every week but my face doth hide. Well, finally, I’ve compiled a list of books I think are tops in their given field and done a video to boot. I think I’ve earned a cookie. Muah!


“Guide to Getting it On” by Paul Joannides, Psy.D.
“Sex is Fun” by Kidder Kaper/ illustrated by Josh Lynch
“Moregasm” by Claire Cavanah & Rachel Venning
“The New Book of Topping/Bottoming” by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy
“SM 101″ by Jay Wiseman
“Mating in Captivity” by Esther Perel
“365 Positions” by Lisa Sweet
“She Comes First” by Ian Kerner, Ph.D.
“Tickle His Pickle” by Dr. Sadie Allison
“The Multi-Orgasmic Man/Woman/Couple” by Chia, Chia, Abrams & Abrams, M.D.


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