Tag Archives: customer

No Babies Under 18 Allowed

18 Jan

There I was, standing dutifully at the front counter of an adult store. Porn. Lube. Pictures of ass cheeks dotting the horizon. When in strolls a young mother pushing a stroller. In it sitting a bright-eyed toddler.

I act swiftly.

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Safe Sex 201 or “No, Your Dick Does Not Live in a Magically Safe Universe, You Prick!”

1 Jul

An older man of forty-six sporting workout gear and a bald spot boldly walks into our store. No, this is not the beginning of a joke.

At ten paces right in front of me he stops, then spends a good sixty seconds trying to turn off his iPod. He is a vision of mid-life crisis.

He tells me he has never been inside our den of sex. I welcome him sweetly. He peruses for a time before coming up to the counter, setting down a 3-pack of moderately acceptable condoms and a small bottle of lube. This is our conversation:

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