How Romantic. Pizza.

1st rule on Valentine’s Day: You do not eat out on Valentine’s day.

2nd rule on Valentine’s Day: You DO NOT eat out on Valentine’s day.

3rd rule: If you get hungry on Valentine’s day, you have to eat.

How am I navigating this treacherous war zone?

Simple. My Valentine and I will be making Pizza. Yep, pizza. Thing is, I’ve never made pizza. Always wanted to. So this will be the Valentine’s day of a lifetime.

I fear the worst however, as virgins sometime do before the big night. You see, I have expectations. Big expectations. My pizza must be heart-shaped. Gloriously such. I will have no other shape on this holy holiday! Any other be damned!

What I dream of is this thick crusted heart of my heart:

My darkest fear is this (I shan’t even look upon its horrid visage):

What shall come to pass on my night of earthly passion? Only time will tell.

Love is a battlefield. A tasty, tasty battlefield.

2 thoughts on “How Romantic. Pizza.

  1. Alright… As a product of a step-mother that knew her Italian cooking, I came to enjoy making pizza. It was a family event. That you are making it an event with your hubby is very on point. The secret is in the crust.

    1) Don’t worry about tossing the crust. You will just get flour everywhere.
    2) Don’t roll out the crust either. That’s a great way to make crackers. Bleh.
    3) Work slow from the center.
    a. generously flour your clean and dry cutting board.
    b. get your dough into a nice ball and place in the center of board.
    c. with your finger tips, work the dough from center outward. Stretch the dough by spreading your fingers a little.
    d. Turn the dough as you go. Watch for thin areas.
    e. Repeat until dough is the right diameter.
    The trick in all of this is try not to mash out too many bubbles. This will keep the dough bready in texture.

    For the heart shape: Follow the above. Then take a knife and cut at one point on the edge. Pull the separate end points toward the middle a little. Then pinch the ends together again. For the point of the heart, pull the edge of the crust that’s opposite of the mounds valley away from the center and then pinch it.

    I hope this has helped ease the anxiety of pizza making a little. Just keep in mind, that’s sometimes the reward is in the doing not the result. And in this case, you will be eating any evidence of failure.

Nerd out here & at the Sex Nerd Sandra facebook page!

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