1st rule on Valentine’s Day: You do not eat out on Valentine’s day.
2nd rule on Valentine’s Day: You DO NOT eat out on Valentine’s day.
3rd rule: If you get hungry on Valentine’s day, you have to eat.
How am I navigating this treacherous war zone?
Simple. My Valentine and I will be making Pizza. Yep, pizza. Thing is, I’ve never made pizza. Always wanted to. So this will be the Valentine’s day of a lifetime.
I fear the worst however, as virgins sometime do before the big night. You see, I have expectations. Big expectations. My pizza must be heart-shaped. Gloriously such. I will have no other shape on this holy holiday! Any other be damned!
What I dream of is this thick crusted heart of my heart:
My darkest fear is this (I shan’t even look upon its horrid visage):
What shall come to pass on my night of earthly passion? Only time will tell.
Love is a battlefield. A tasty, tasty battlefield.