Sexy Stocking Stuffers (no one would suspect)

Ah, last minute shopping. Fun, fun, fun. Well, fun for me earlier today when I ran around my local mega-one-stop-shop looking for seemingly innocent products that were naughty memories just waiting to be made. Look what I found to stuff your stockings!

Minty strips make your mouth a winter wonderland.

1) Listerine Pocketpacks: Yes, those little strips that dissolve into a potent tingly sensation coating your mouth and tongue. Sneak under the covers and give your bed bud one spicy wake up Christmas morning.

Join the mile high club... in bed

2) Eye Mask & Ear Plugs: Have you ever tried playing around between the sheets without sight or sound? Uh, it’s awesome! Shutting down one sense drives the awareness of your other senses to compensate. Deprive yourself of 2 senses? Wow. It’s the perfect time to pull out the mint strips!

Uh-oh! Someone didn't to their homework over winter break!

3) A Simple Wooden Ruler: Roleplay anyone? At first I was over in the kitchen aisle smacking my thigh with spatulas, but I just couldn’t find the one with the right snap. Then I changed course and skipped over to the school supply zone and found this little utilitarian delight. It may be made out of bark, but it’s got quite a bite.

Great stuffing, honey, but now it's time for dessert. And more stuffing.

4) Pillsbury Easy Frost (or similar): I trust you’ll get the idea from the above photograph. Just watch out on female bits. That sugar can be quite irritating down under, so keep it to the endless other erogenous zones on her body. Add strawberries and you’ve got yourself a good time, my friend.

The answer to the age old question: More lube?

5) Travel size spray bottle: If you find yourself reaching repeatedly for your water-based lube and end up all sticky, this little guy is for you. One spritz of water will rehydrate your lube. Just keep this tiny bottle bedside with your other sexy supplies. Spend $1 and make life better.

Run up your water bill. I dare you.

6) EcoFlow Detachable Shower Head: Okay, this last one is more than a stocking stuffer, but when I saw this I immediately lusted for this. Of course, I was also racing through the store on a sex-fueled shopping fest. Wrap this  up along with some tingly mint shower gel. Get clean. Get dirty.

***

Okay, well, good luck to you this week! And remember, naughty is everywhere you choose to look for it. Tits the season!

XOXO

~Sex Nerd Sandra

Posted in sex

4 thoughts on “Sexy Stocking Stuffers (no one would suspect)

  1. Clever post, but that Wenger-Swiss Gear ear plugs and eye mask is awful. We thought it would be good because stuff you buy at the specialty shops or get free with other things is usually crappy. Not so – this is the worst eye mask ever. Shame too because I like their other products. That’s all – carry on.

    1. Ha. Good to know. I mean earplugs & face masks in general. My fave masks are the plush ones with the little pillows for below your eyes so it’s completely dark. But when you’re in a bind, or want to be, ya gotta make do! 🙂

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