Ah, last minute shopping. Fun, fun, fun. Well, fun for me earlier today when I ran around my local mega-one-stop-shop looking for seemingly innocent products that were naughty memories just waiting to be made. Look what I found to stuff your stockings!
1) Listerine Pocketpacks: Yes, those little strips that dissolve into a potent tingly sensation coating your mouth and tongue. Sneak under the covers and give your bed bud one spicy wake up Christmas morning.
2) Eye Mask & Ear Plugs: Have you ever tried playing around between the sheets without sight or sound? Uh, it’s awesome! Shutting down one sense drives the awareness of your other senses to compensate. Deprive yourself of 2 senses? Wow. It’s the perfect time to pull out the mint strips!
3) A Simple Wooden Ruler: Roleplay anyone? At first I was over in the kitchen aisle smacking my thigh with spatulas, but I just couldn’t find the one with the right snap. Then I changed course and skipped over to the school supply zone and found this little utilitarian delight. It may be made out of bark, but it’s got quite a bite.
4) Pillsbury Easy Frost (or similar): I trust you’ll get the idea from the above photograph. Just watch out on female bits. That sugar can be quite irritating down under, so keep it to the endless other erogenous zones on her body. Add strawberries and you’ve got yourself a good time, my friend.
5) Travel size spray bottle: If you find yourself reaching repeatedly for your water-based lube and end up all sticky, this little guy is for you. One spritz of water will rehydrate your lube. Just keep this tiny bottle bedside with your other sexy supplies. Spend $1 and make life better.
6) EcoFlow Detachable Shower Head: Okay, this last one is more than a stocking stuffer, but when I saw this I immediately lusted for this. Of course, I was also racing through the store on a sex-fueled shopping fest. Wrap this up along with some tingly mint shower gel. Get clean. Get dirty.
Okay, well, good luck to you this week! And remember, naughty is everywhere you choose to look for it. Tits the season!
~Sex Nerd Sandra