A Short Blog about Big Dicks

3 May

A word to the human male. Ladies, you can listen, too. Want to know the secret to what women want? Closer. No, no, come even closer. I’ll whisper it in your ear.

We don’t know WHAT we want.

And this is true about cock size, too. The truth is, depending on the day, a man’s cock might seem humongous, minuscule or pile-driver perfect. Some days we can barely squeeze that bad boy inside our girl parts. Some days, it feels like we could fit two of you inside us and still have room for that tampon.

It’s truly arbitrary.

And we think we know. We think we know exactly what we want. And you know what happens? I get a call at work from a woman-customer all broken up because she bought a dildo that’s too big for her and now she comes to find out she can’t return it.

I had a dildo. It stood a tall, firm, silicone six inches high. It was my first, and I was very proud of it. And you know what I learned from my first dildo? That I don’t know what I want. I managed to get the whole thing inside of me twice the entire decade I’ve owned the thing. It has thus been banished to my bottom drawer.

How is this possible? All you size queens out there listening in are snickering under your breath. But think about it. Has size always been what you’ve needed? I doubt it.

I’ve come to my conclusion for this short blog on big dicks, and my conclusion is this:

We obsess about cock size because it’s easy. Easier than the alternative. Realize that it’s just a tool. And wanting a bigger tool is way easier than learning the skills to use it better.

4 Responses to “A Short Blog about Big Dicks”

  1. angelasbangles May 3, 2010 at 10:13 am #

    Oh you are talking LITERAL big dicks, not the metaphorical ones;)

  2. Honest5 May 6, 2010 at 5:20 am #

    Don’t look now BUT I think I see feminists huddling & pointing in your direction…

  3. leendadll March 4, 2011 at 12:28 pm #

    i want SKILL. i don’t care too much about size – just know how to use it. and… guys… just maybe be as obsessed with my vajayjay as i am with your penis. that would be a novel play night!

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